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Three Rules for Turning Stress Into Success by Denis Waitley

1. Accept the Unchangeable - Everything that has happened in your life to this minute is unchangeable. It’s history. The greatest waste of energy is in looking back at missed opportunities, lamenting past events, grudge collecting, getting even, harboring ill will, and any vengeful thinking. Success is the only acceptable form of revenge. By forgiving your trespassers, you become free to concentrate on going forward with your life and succeeding in spite of your detractors. You will live a rewarding and fulfilling life.

Your enemies, on the other hand, will forever wonder how you went on to become so successful without them and in the shadow of their doubts.

Action Idea: Write down on a sheet of paper things that happened in the past that bother you. Now crumple the paper into a ball and throw it at the person teaching this program at the front of the room. This symbolizes letting go of past misfortunes.

2. Change the Changeable  - What you can change is your reaction to what others say and do. And you can control your own thoughts and actions by dwelling on desired results instead of the penalties of failure. The only real control you have in life is that of your immediate thought and action. Since most of what we do is a reflex, subconscious habit, it is wise not to act on emotional impulse. In personal relations, it is better to wait a moment until reason has the opportunity to compete with your emotions. 

Action Idea:  Write down in your diary one thing you will do tomorrow to help you relax more during and after a stressful day.

3. Avoid the Unacceptable - Go out of your way to get out of the way of potentially dangerous behaviors and environments. When people tailgate you on the freeway, change lanes. If they follow you at night, drive to a well-lighted public place.

When there are loud, obnoxious people next to you at a restaurant or club, change tables, or locations. Also, be cautious of personal relationships developed via the Internet. With the massive number of individuals surfing the net, the number of predators increases in like proportion. Always be on the alert for potentially dangerous situations involving your health, personal safety, financial speculation and emotional relationships.

Action Idea: What is one unacceptable behavior you have or allow others to do to you that you will avoid starting tomorrow? Example: The way you drive, being around negative people, walking down dark streets alone late at night, etc.

Credit Statement to be Included in Reprints
Reproduced with permission from Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@deniswaitley.com Copyright © 2005 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Take a Proactive Approach to Your Health by Denis Waitley

Think of your body as a high-powered, finely engineered transportation vehicle, like a space shuttle. Instead of liquid hydrogen, your body is powered by your own intake. The food you eat is the fuel that energizes the vehicle. What you put in your fuel tank is burned by your high performance activity or  - in the case of low-octane, junk food  - is deposited in your engine. Think of your mind as the driver who takes control of and steers your body to victory or hits the wall. Your body is very much like a car. Drive it without proper fuel or maintenance and it will fall apart. You take it for granted to get you where you want to go, until it breaks down. Then it disrupts your way of life.

Like your car, your body only speaks to you by exception. You only notice it when it is damaged or inoperative. But, unlike your car, the spare parts business for your body is not a viable option at present.

To combat disease and aging, you need to keep your bones, joints and muscles flexible and strong. The right exercise means weight-bearing exercise, not simply aerobics. The International College of Sports Medicine has now added exercise with weights to its long-time recommendation of aerobic exercise. First, check with your physician who can assess your general condition and advise you about healthy levels of activity. Second, be aware that the effectiveness of exercise depends as much on enjoyment as on the nature of activity itself.

Just as important, if not more important than daily exercise, is proper nutrition. What you eat has a major impact on degenerative diseases. Do eat a low fat diet. Keep your fat intake to 15 percent of all daily calories. This will keep you lean and boost your immunity. Do eat a low salt diet. Use a potassium-based salt substitute on the table and in cooking. Do eat a high-fiber diet. Fiber protects the colon from cancer, lowers cholesterol and stabilizes blood sugar. Eat 40 to 50 grams of mixed fibers daily, as in whole grain breads and cereals, especially those containing oat bran, vegetables and fruits. Do eat a low-sugar diet. Use a little fructose in place of table sugar. Eat complex carbohydrates in place of sugar and look for carbohydrate drinks sweetened with zylitol. Do drink clean water. Drink bottled or home-distilled water, as much as eight glasses per day.

Do eat an alkaline diet. Our high-fat, high-sugar diet creates acidity. So many people are now acidic that we spend hundreds of millions of dollars on antacids every year.

Do take daily nutritional supplements including essential multi-vitamins, antioxidants and minerals. Current research confirms that we can no longer get the essential nutrients from our food alone. We must supplement even the best diet with nutrition to promote resistance to disease. Do eat the right kinds of foods and stay away from the fast-food, fat-food drive-throughs. You are doing yourself and your children a dangerous, long-term disservice by developing the habit of eating high-fat, nutrition-poor meals. Make your health your top priority. You can’t buy your health or life back after years of neglecting it while you earn your living.

Action Idea: List one activity you will begin to do tomorrow to improve your health and increase the quality and quantity of your life.

Credit Statement to be Included in Reprints
Reproduced with permission from Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@deniswaitley.com Copyright © 2005 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Conducting a Personal Inventory of Your "Knowledge Resources" by Denis Waitley

Self-knowledge has always been the key to preparing for competition. Knowledge of your attributes, abilities, interests, strengths, weaknesses, and traits is essential to riding the front end of the wave of change into the new century.  To fully assess your own talents, realize that studies confirm that what we love and do well as children continues as our latent or manifest talent as adults.

Examination of your weekend or evening interests might reveal a gem of potential you can apply to your vocation. I strongly suggest you don’t unthinkingly relegate what you love to do for yourself solely to hobbies. You might make it, or at least integrate it into your life’s work.

The acquisition of knowledge, which is the new global power, is a life-long experience, not a collection of facts or skills. Not long ago, what you learned in school was largely all you needed to learn to secure a career. With knowledge expanding exponentially, this is no longer true. Hundreds of scientific papers are published daily.

Every thirty seconds, some new technological company produces yet another innovation. Your formal education has a very short shelf life. Life-long learning, once a luxury for the few, has become absolutely vital to continued success. Continue gaining expertise and avoid thinking like an expert.

Action Idea: An excellent benchmarking exercise is to spend a weekend with key associates or family members and dust off your childhood memories.  Remember what you really enjoyed and wanted to do most as a child. The next activity in assessing your interests is considering your current ones. What do you most enjoy after work? What do you most want to do on weekends and vacations? What are your hobbies?  Can you bring more of what you enjoy into your business life?

Action Step - Increase Your Reading, Writing and Vocabulary Proficiency.  One of the most important qualities of successful leaders is an ability to express thoughts and knowledge. Research by management and human resource experts confirms that no matter what the field of employment, people with large vocabularies  - those able to speak clearly and concisely, using simple as well as descriptive words  - are best at accomplishing their goals. Well chosen, carefully considered words can close the sale, negotiate the raise, enhance relationships, and change destinies.

In a world of e-mail, fax dispersal, voice mail, sound bites, concise reports, business plans, and meeting briefs, the individuals who can articulate their goals, substantiate their claims, and support their visions, will own the future. In the 21st Century, literacy will be the major difference between the haves and have-nots.

Why do fewer than 10 percent of the public buy and read nonfiction books? One reason is that many would rather get home than get ahead. They are motivated to get by and get pulled along by the company, the economy, or the government.

Another reason is that many individuals believe that information found in books, computer programs, and training sessions has no value in the business world. How self-deluding!

As the new tools of productivity become the Internet, the Digital Versatile Disc, direct digital download of text, audio and video, and the combination of the interactive computer with telecommunications, the people who know how to control the new technologies will acquire power, while those who thought that education ends with the diploma are destined for low-paying, low-satisfaction jobs. In almost the blink of an eye, our society has passed from the industrial age to the knowledge era.

Increase your reading by 100 percent. Decrease your television watching, and that of any children in your family by 50 percent. Surf the Internet and subscribe to book summaries, or download free chapters from different sources.  By reading book summaries, you can gain the essence of all the top business books in a very brief period of time.

Action Idea: Read at least one book each month, and listen to at least one additional audio book during commute or down time. One of the best sources for business audio books online is MP3audiobooks.com.

All kinds of reading and listening to fiction and non-fiction will increase your vocabulary, writing and presentation skills. Incredibly, a mere 3,500 words separate the average person from those with superior vocabularies.

Keep a dictionary beside you when you read and look up every word you don’t fully understand. Doing that on the spot helps make the word part of your vocabulary forever. And don’t depend on your computer’s spellchecker for your spelling. Not all e-mail service includes spell check. Also, you may be called upon to write longhand notes, memos, or information on white boards or blackboards at meetings. You not only want to use the right words. You also will want to spell them correctly.

A great way to increase your literacy is to engage in Internet conferences and to read summaries on the web from services like Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble and other booksellers. The more interactive you become in communications and the less you indulge in prime-time television, the more successful you’ll become in all areas of your life. Knowledge is the new power. And literacy is the door to knowledge.  Hopefully, attending this "Winning for Life" program will be one of the keys that will open the door to your future for you.

Credit Statement to be Included in Reprints
Reproduced with permission from Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@deniswaitley.com Copyright © 2005 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Constantly Upgrade Your Computer Literacy by Denis Waitley

Many friends of mine who were convinced they would never become computer literate are now conducting all their long-distance communication by e-mail and Internet phone calls.

Why must you begin using computers, if you are in a high-touch business, retired, or are not actively doing business at all?  Because all the devices we plug in – computers, telephones, fax machines, radios, television sets, VCRs and even kitchen appliances  - are emerging into a unified information machine. Very soon, a single device will perform all their functions and more.

Together with our appliances our credit cards, medical records, automobile registrations, driver’s licenses, etc. will be hooked together. Scientists envision a small card on which our entire medical history will be electronically encoded.

We’re on the threshold of the greatest exchange of knowledge and ideas in history. Who will own and control that intellectual property? How will it be paid for? How will the information transactions be monitored and secured? What impact will this have on future generations?  The answers to these questions are anything but certain. But what is certain is that unless you are computer literate you will be illiterate. Unless you are online you will be in the unemployment line, or you’ll be earning minimum wages. Unless you’re networking, you probably will be not working. Unless you’re comfortable with the information superhighway, you’ll be road kill on it. Unless you join the generation of the future, you will be relegated to living in the past.

The biggest reason most people are hesitant to jump into the world of computers and the Internet, is that it is not in their comfort zones. Whenever we consider acquiring a new skill, whether it is flying a plane, snow or water-skiing, or going back to school, we procrastinate and make excuses, because we feel awkward and clumsy in trying something we know little about and something in which others, observing us, are more proficient in. In other words, we feel foolish in front of family, friends and associates, because we are adult rookies. It’s o.k. for kids to try new things. Because they’re not afraid of criticism or looking silly. They learn that in junior high, high school and college.

One of the most important ideas you can gain in this program is that winners risk being a fool in the eyes of others in order to gain expertise. There never was a winner, who wasn’t, first, a beginner. Be willing to begin becoming computer literate.

The computer, once a formidable challenge for us, has become an invaluable tool, and has saved us time that we now spend together living a more balanced life.  Plan to spend about 50 to 100 dollars a month, staying current, upgrading your equipment and software, and subscribing to computer publications. The best way to keep from falling behind is to keep abreast of the trends. Because the industry is changing weekly, you must assume that all you have learned will need to be updated every week. That's why there’s no reason to wait. No matter when you buy a computing system it will be obsolete within a year, or need a complete upgrade. Voice recognition systems will be commonplace in a couple of years.

Action Idea:  Subscribe to a computing magazine or newsletter service that gives you weekly or monthly updates on the latest trends and tools of technology.

Credit Statement to be Included in Reprints
Reproduced with permission from Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@deniswaitley.com Copyright © 2005 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Become a Global Networker by Denis Waitley

Bill Gates, Microsoft’s founder, and the richest person in the world by several billion dollars, is convinced that the huge access to information will trickle down to the consumer. In another two years, he predicts, most decisions such as hiring a part-time worker for your home, buying a consumer product, choosing a lawyer – will be made on a much more informed basis because of electronic communication.

It changes the nature of competition, because in a networked world, we can ignore geographic limits to our shopping. People, information and services are merging together, all in the name of time-based competitive advantage.

Here is a check-off list of important considerations. How many on the list are part of your daily life?

· E-Mail is now the most popular method of communication next to the telephone in the industrialized nations. And, you can now transmit your e-mail by voice mail. It is possible and reasonable to expect that you can answer 30 e-mail messages in one hour, or one every two minutes. This is equivalent to answering personal correspondence at the rate of 30 letters per hour, without a secretary.

· If you communicate long distance, nationally or globally by phone – through the use of Internet phone or software - you can talk indefinitely without long distance phone charges over the Internet. By paying only the monthly, on-line service charge, you can reduce your long distance phone bills immeasurably by communicating verbally, computer to computer, with individuals having compatible software.

· Since it will be desirable to be multi-national in your business and personal relationships, by installing foreign language software you’ll be able to have all of your word processing appear on the screen in two languages.

Select at least one new language you feel will be desirable to learn during the next few years and install the software for that language. By having your correspondence appear in both your native language and one new language, both in text and audio, it is a great way to learn.

· As you look toward the future, be prepared to have at least one of the following: An ISDN phone line for your modem.  A cable service for your modem. Or a satellite dish for your modem.  Cable and satellite modem services will be mandatory as requirements for speed and quality of downloading large quantities of information and graphics increase.

· Ensure that your computer is upgraded for real-time audio, MP3, and video streaming, so you’ll be able to receive information from the Internet in real time. Consider investing in video conferencing equipment that allows you to hold live video conferences at multiple locations nationally and internationally, with multiple clients. Although video conferencing will not replace live seminars and meetings, it will reduce the costs and greatly increase the number of clients that can be served at the same time, in the knowledge century.

Action Idea:  Pick at least two friends or business associates living in other countries, or in other parts of this country, that you will e-mail at least once every two weeks.

Credit Statement to be Included in Reprints
Reproduced with permission from Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@deniswaitley.com Copyright © 2005 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Make Certain You Have a Personal Presence on the World Wide Web Now by Denis Waitley by Denis Waitley

The reason it’s important for you to have your own web presence now is that thousands of new web sites are being developed and registered every day nationally and internationally. Unless you make arrangements now to protect your own name and/or company name, globally, as an Internet site, your name may already be trademarked and registered by someone else.

Here are some guidelines, regardless of whether or not you already have your own domain site on the web:

· Your web presence is not static, nor should it be treated as a structure. It should be a constantly changing infomercial and résumé of your services.

· Do not spend a great deal of money and time creating an incredibly artistic website. The object of a website is to develop a database of qualified prospects. In order to have an effective website, you must provide a great deal of important, relevant, value-packed, free information to your visitors, with enough variety and substance to make them return to your website often, and certainly to provide them an instant incentive to leave their names and addresses, so that you can follow up.

· For example, the National Board of Realtors in the U. S. offers geography specific information regarding schools, shopping, medical facilities and other important data of interest to prospective buyers or renters of real property. No matter where in the United States someone may be considering relocating, this home page will give answers at no charge.

And by providing your name and other particulars, the site will download other specific information to you. The services are constantly upgraded and added to, to invite more than one visit to the site.

Think of your home page as an advertisement that needs to be changed and freshened weekly to be competitive in today’s consumer-driven marketplace. Contrary to what you may have heard, I know hundreds of individuals who already are making  $20,000 to $100,000 per month via electronic sales on the Internet. Michael Dell, founder of Dell Computer Company, and currently the richest person in the world under the age of 40, sells over 30 million US dollars per day worth of computer equipment directly on the Internet, with no sales staff and no retail outlets.

Action Idea:  If you do not have your own name registered as your domain, do it this week. If you do not have your own web site, do something this week to initiate this process. If you have your own website, do something to make it more valuable to visitors this week. What kind of free content can you add to your website that will increase new visitors who leave their e-mail addresses.

Credit Statement to be Included in Reprints
Reproduced with permission from Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@deniswaitley.com Copyright © 2005 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Be Responsible For Your Own Financial Secutiry by Denis Waitley

There is no job security. You can’t rely on staying with the same company through retirement. Pension plans, when available, are woefully inadequate. Social security benefits won’t come close to covering your living expenses in retirement.

The only way to reach financial security is to plan for it now, regardless of your age. You have to define financial security in your own terms. Have you defined the amount of assets that you need for financial independence?

Financial security is that amount of assets that will give you a specific income, after taxes, to live like you want to, without having to depend on day-to-day employment.

What is that amount for you? I believe it is more than you think. And, I feel that if you define it, you can reach it in ten years or less. Do you have a financial plan and the assistance of a financial planner?  You need both. Always retain a financial planner on a fee-for-service basis. Don’t mix financial planning with an investment broker or insurance agent. What are your financial goals and what is your time line? Because I started late in my quest for financial independence, I have a maximum five-year period remaining for capital accumulation.

Action Idea: Wealth is not only based on income, but also on expenditures. Are you spending or investing?  Are your purchases goal-achieving or tension-relieving? How do you use credit cards? Use your credit cards for services or purchases that retain their value or that build your business. Don’t use credit cards for vacations and personal entertainment, unless you plan to pay the entire balance in one or two months. Try to pay all your balances in full monthly. In this way, you avoid the ridiculously high interest payments. Realize that paying minimum balances, at high interest rates, means that you are paying two or three times what the original purchase was worth.

Most importantly, save at least 6 to 10 percent of your take-home pay each month, by writing a check into a savings account or mutual fund for that amount, as if it were a utility bill or house payment. The secret of most self-made multi-millionaires is compound interest. If parents saved one dollar each day for their newborn infant, by going without a cup of Starbuck’s coffee, or a Big Mac, or a soft drink for that day, by the time the child reached age forty, he or she would have a million dollars cash. No lottery windfall. No brilliant investment strategy. Just compound interest, which Baron von Rothchild labeled "The Eighth Wonder of the World."

Credit Statement to be Included in Reprints
Reproduced with permission from Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@deniswaitley.com Copyright © 2005 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Start Living in Prime Time by Denis Waitley

Prime time is that period between 6 and 10 p.m. during which most of the general public watches television. Commercials in prime time are the most expensive, approaching a million dollars per minute. Your real success in life will take a quantum leap when you stop watching other people making money in their professions performing in prime time, and start living your own dreams and goals in prime time. Time is the ultimate equal opportunity employer. Time never stops to rest, never hesitates, never looks forward or backward. Life’s raw material spends itself in the now, this moment, which is why how you spend your time is far more important than all the material possessions you may own or positions you may obtain. Positions change, possessions come and go, you can earn more money. You can renew your supply of many things, but like good health, that other most precious resource, time spent is gone forever.

Each yesterday, and all of them together, are beyond your control. Literally all the money in the world can’t undo or redo a single act you performed. You cannot erase a single word you said. You can’t add an "I love you," "I’m sorry", or "I forgive you", not even a "thank you" you forgot to say. Each human being in every hemisphere and time zone has precisely 168 hours a week to spend. And some of the most precious hours occur in prime time.

Consider this: most of your daytime hours are spent helping other people solve their problems. The little time you have in the evenings and on weekends is all you have to spend on yourself, on your own dreams and goals, and personal development. Some thoughts to ponder:

· Have supper with your loved ones at least two to three times per week. It’s the best time for casual conversation to listen to what those close to you feel is important in their lives. Mealtime is a time to dialogue.

· A television set is an appliance. It should be used, at most, for two hours at a time. It should be off, unless specific programs of interest are selected. It should not be used as a one-eyed baby sitter. For the most part, TV exposes us to negative role models.

· Instead of watching television why not read a good fiction or non-fiction book, write a letter, engage in a hobby or craft, call a friend or someone in need of encouragement on the phone, network on your computer, go out to an ethnic restaurant, a home show, an entrepreneurial show, a musical recital, a play, a fitness class, or cultural event.  Take an art or photography class. Use prime time to live the kind of life others put on layaway.

Action Idea:  If you and your family/friends watch TV, try not turning it on for one week. When you do watch TV, reduce by 50% the amount of time you spend watching it. Concentrate your evenings and free time engaged in hands on, real life experiences, you can touch, feel, smell and engage all your senses in. Instead of virtual reality, insist on the real thing.

Credit Statement to be Included in Reprints
Reproduced with permission from Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@deniswaitley.com Copyright © 2005 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Balance Your Workload With a Generous Number of Mini-Vacations for Maximum Productivity by Denis Waitley

By re-energizing and renewing yourself frequently, you will avoid burnout and become much more motivated and productive.  Don’t keep your nose to the grindstone for years and wait for retirement to travel.  Balance and consistency are the keys. Enjoy the process, not just the result. Don’t fight the passing of time. Don’t fear it, squander it, or try to hide from it under a superficial cosmetic veil of fads and indulgences. Life and time go together. Do enjoy each phase of life. Do make the most of each day, and draw maximum joy from each moment.

Many people today are concerned with quality time – time generally defined in part as that spent on recreation, personal pursuits, time with children, spouses and friends. While I certainly believe quality time is important, I believe two other aspects of time are equally important.

First, one must also spend quantity time. The average father spends less than 30 minutes each week in direct one-on-one communication with each of his children. How can we possibly expect good family relationships with so little communication?

Second, one must spend regular time. Many supervisors and company presidents go for weeks, even months, without seeing many of their employees. There’s no substitute for regular meetings and open forums in which managers and team members can share ideas.

Time has a dual structure. On one hand, we live our daily routines meeting present contingencies as they arise. On the other hand, our most ambitious goals and desires need time so that they can be assembled and cemented. A long-term goal connects pieces of time into one block. These blocks can be imagined and projected into the future as we do when we set goals for ourselves. Or, these blocks of time can be created in retrospect as we do when we look back at what we’ve accomplished.

It’s not in the image of our big dreams that we run the risk of losing our focus and motivation. It’s the drudgery and routine of our daily lives that present the greatest danger to our hopes for achievement. Good time management means that you maximize the daily return on the energy and mental effort you expend.

Ways to maximize your time productivity:

· Write down in one place all the important contacts you have and all of your goals and priorities. Make a back up copy, preferably on CD, DVD or Zip disc. Write down every commitment you make at the time you make it.

· Stop wasting the first hour of your workday. Having the chat and first cup of coffee, reading the paper, and socializing are the three costliest opening exercises that lower productivity.

· Do one thing well at a time.  It takes time to start and stop work on each activity. Stay with a task until it is completed.

· Don’t open unimportant mail. More than a fourth of the mail you receive can be tossed before you open or read it, and that includes e-mail.

· Handle each piece of paper only once and never more than twice. Don’t set aside anything without taking action. Carry work, reading material, audiotapes and your laptop computer with you everywhere you go. Convert down time into uplink time.

· Spend twenty minutes at the beginning of each week and ten minutes at the beginning of each day planning your to do list.

· Set aside personal relaxation time during the day. Don’t work during lunch. It’s neither noble nor nutritional to skip important energy input and stress-relieving time. Throughout the day, ask yourself, "What’s the best use of my time right now?" As the day grows short, focus on projects you can least afford to leave undone.

· And as we said at the beginning of this message, take vacations often, mini-vacations of two or three days, and leave your work at home. The harder you work, the more you need to balance your exercise and leisure time.

Action Idea: Plan a relaxing 3-day vacation within the next three months without taking any business work with you. Reserve it on your calendar this week.

Credit Statement to be Included in Reprints
Reproduced with permission from Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@deniswaitley.com Copyright © 2005 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Model Yourself After the Best Individuals, Who Have Proven Their Success Over Time by Denis Waitley

Do this by benchmarking the world’s most admired organizations and people in and out of your industry. Hewlett-Packard sends teams of two to four managers to meet with peers in other companies.  After exchanging ideas about leadership and organizational practices, the benchmarking teams exchange comments. If you want to become or stay the best, you must know more than what your competitors are up to.

You must know the best business practices, wherever they exist. It’s a good idea to read business magazines to keep current on what the real movers and shakers are doing globally.

Action Idea: This month, read a biography of someone you admire who has overcome great hurdles to become successful. When you learn what many of them had to endure, you are less overwhelmed by the obstacles you face. Every hardship you face has been endured and conquered by someone before you.

Credit Statement to be Included in Reprints
Reproduced with permission from Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@deniswaitley.com Copyright © 2005 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Set Up a Learning Resource at Home and at Your Place of Business With Both Personal and Professional Development Materials by Denis Waitley

Every office conference, lunch, exercise, and recreation room should be filled with personal enrichment materials including videos, audios, books, magazines, newsletters, and software.

Convert a special area of your home into a learning center, especially if you have children. The trend globally is to combine coffee house like Starbucks, with bookstores like Barnes and Noble, to create a relaxing learning environment. In the twenty-first century, gaining knowledge will blend into our lives as part of our leisure time. There are several ways to create more of an ongoing learning environment at your place of business. Many companies are asking employees to volunteer to read a specific trade or business magazine and clip or scan articles relevant to the organization. Regular e-mail dispersal and fax dispersal are also popular. I also have been participating in a variety of live Internet conferences, including questions and answers from all over the world.

In today’s fast-forward, knowledge-based world, if you’re not moving ahead you are falling behind.

Action Idea: Make two files in your computer: one for personal development and one for professional development. Download articles and e-mails that educate and inspire you in these files. You also can scan articles from magazines into these files. Look at these files at least once per week.

Credit Statement to be Included in Reprints
Reproduced with permission from Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@deniswaitley.com Copyright © 2005 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Be a Person Who Practices Non-Situational Integrity by Denis Waitley

Be a Person Who Practices Non-Situational Integrity. Integrity, a standard of personal morality and ethics, is not relative to the situation you happen to find yourself in and doesn’t sell out to expediency. Its short supply is getting even shorter, but without it, leadership is a façade. Learning to see through exteriors is a critical development in the transition from adolescence to adulthood. Sadly, most people continue to be taken in by big talk and media popularity, flashy or bizarre looks, and expensive possessions. They move through most of their years convinced that the externals are what count, and are thus doomed to live shallow lives. Men and women who rely on their looks or status to feel good about themselves inevitably do everything they can to enhance the impression they make – and do correspondingly little to develop their inner value and personal growth. The paradox is that the people who try hardest to impress are often the least impressive. Puffing to appear powerful is an attempt to hide insecurity.

In the Roman Empires’ final corrupt years, status was conveyed by the number of carved statues of the gods displayed in people’s courtyards. As in every business, the Roman statue industry had good and bad sculptors and merchants. As the empire became ever more greedy and narcissistic, the bad got away with as much as they could. Sculptors became adept at using wax to hide cracks and chips in marble and most people couldn’t discern the difference in quality.

Statues began to weep or melt under the scrutiny of sunlight or heat in foyers. For statues of authentic fine quality, carved by reputable artists, people had to go to the artisan marketplace in the Roman Quad and look for booths with signs declaring sine cera, which translates in English to mean, without wax. We, too, look for the real thing in friends, products, and services. In people, we value sincerity, from the words, sine cera, more than almost any other virtue. We expect it from our leaders, which we are not getting in our political, media, business and sports’ heroes for the most part. We must demand it of ourselves.

Integrity that strengthens an inner value system is the real human bottom line. Commitment to a life of integrity in every situation demonstrates that your word is more valuable than a surety bond. It means you don’t base your decisions on being politically correct. You do what’s right, not fashionable. You know that truth is absolute, not a device for manipulating others. And you win in the long run, when the stakes are highest. If I were writing a single commandment for leadership it would be, "You shall conduct yourself in such a manner as to set an example worthy of imitation by your children and subordinates." In simpler terms, if they shouldn’t be doing it, neither should you. I told my kids, "clean up your room," and they inspected the condition of my garage. I told them that honesty was our family’s greatest virtue, and they commented on the radar detector I had installed in my car. When I told them about the vices of drinking and wild parties, they watched from the upstairs balcony, the way our guests behaved at our adult functions.

It’s too bad some of our political and business leaders don’t understand that "What you are speaks so loudly that no one really pays attention to what you say." But it is even more true that if what you are matches what you say, your life will speak forcefully indeed.

It’s hardly a secret that learning ethical standards begins at home. A child’s first inklings of a sense of right and wrong come from almost imperceptible signals received long before he or she reaches the age of rational thought about morality. Maybe you’re asking yourself what kind of model you are for future generations, remembering that people are either honest or dishonest, that integrity is all or nothing, and that children can’t be fooled in such basic matters. They learn by example.

To remind myself of my responsibility to live without wax, with sincerity and integrity, I took the liberty of re-writing Edgar A. Guest’s poem, "Sermons We See" to apply to setting an example as a real winner for my children and grandchildren.

I'd rather watch a winner, than hear one any day.
I'd rather have one walk with me, than merely show the way.
The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear.
Fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear.
And the best of all the coaches are the ones who live their deeds.
For to see the truth in action is what everybody needs.
I can soon learn how to do it, if you'll let me see it done.
I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run.
And the lectures you deliver may be very wise and true.
But, I'd rather get my lessons by observing what you do.
For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give.
But there's no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.
I'd rather watch a winner, than hear one any day.

Hey, politician, business leader, motion picture producer, television actor, rock star, sports star.  Hey mom, hey dad. Don’t tell me how to live.  Show me by your actions. You’re my role models.

Action Idea: When you talk to others, beginning right now, don’t try to impress them by talking about your accomplishments. Let your actions speak for you. Ask more questions.

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The Most Important Meetings You’ll Ever Attend Are the Meetings You Have With Yourself by Denis Waitley

You are your most important critic. There is no opinion so vitally important to your well being as the opinion you have of yourself. As you read this you’re talking to yourself right now. "Let’s see if I understand what he means by that… How does that compare with my experiences? – I’ll make note of that – try that tomorrow – I already knew that…I already do that." I believe this self-talk, this psycholinguistics or language of the mind can be controlled to work for us, especially in the building of self-confidence and creativity. We’re all talking to ourselves every moment of our lives, except during certain portions of our sleeping cycle. We’re seldom even aware that we’re doing it. We all have a running commentary in our heads on events and our reactions to them.

· Be aware of the silent conversation you have with yourself. Are you a nurturing coach or a critic? Do you reinforce your own success or negate it? Are you comfortable saying to yourself, "That’s more like it".  "Now we’re in the groove." "Things are working out well." "I am reaching my financial goals." "I’ll do it better next time."

· When winners fail, they view it as a temporary inconvenience, a learning experience, an isolated event, and a stepping-stone instead of a stumbling block.

· When winners succeed, they reinforce that success, by feeling rewarded rather than guilty about the achievement and the applause.

· When winners are paid a compliment, they simply respond: "Thank you." They accept value graciously when it is paid. They pay value in their conversations with themselves and with other people.

A mark of an individual with healthy self-esteem is the ability to spend time alone, without constantly needing other people around. Being comfortable and enjoying solitary time reveals inner peace and centering. People who constantly need stimulation or conversation with others are often a bit insecure and thus need to be propped up by the company of others.

Always greet the people you meet with a smile. When introducing yourself in any new association, take the initiative to volunteer your own name first, clearly; and always extend your hand first, looking the person in the eyes when you speak.

In your telephone communications at work or at home, answer the telephone pleasantly, immediately giving your own name to the caller, before you ask who’s calling. Whenever you initiate a call, always give your own name up front, before you ask for the party you want and before you state your business. Leading with your own name underscores that a person of value is making the call.

Don’t brag. People who trumpet their exploits and shout for service are actually calling for help. The showoffs, braggarts and blowhards are desperate for attention.

Don’t tell your problems to people, unless they’re directly involved with the solutions. And don’t make excuses. Successful people seek those who look and sound like success. Always talk affirmatively about the progress you are trying to make.

As we said earlier, find successful role models after whom you can pattern yourself. When you meet a mastermind, become a master mime, and learn all you can about how he or she succeeded. This is especially true with things you fear. Find someone who has conquered what you fear and learn from him or her.

When you make a mistake in life, or get ridiculed or rejected, look at mistakes as detours on the road to success, and view ridicule as ignorance. After a rejection, take a look at your BAG. B is for Blessings. Things you are endowed with that you often take for granted like life itself, health, living in an abundant country, family, friends, career. A is for accomplishments. Think of the many things you are proud of that you have done so far. And G is for Goals. Think of your big dreams and plans for the future that motivate you. If you took your BAG – blessings, accomplishments and goals – to a party, and spread them on the floor, in comparison to all your friends and the people you admire, you’d take your own bag home, realizing that you have as much going for yourself as anyone else. Always view rejection as part of one performance, not as a turndown of the performer.

And, enjoy those special meetings with yourself. Spend this Saturday doing something you really want to do. I don’t mean next month or someday. This Saturday enjoy being alive and being able to do it. You deserve it. There will never be another you. This Saturday will be spent. Why not spend at least one day a week on You!

Action Idea: Go for one entire day and night without saying anything negative to yourself or to others. Make a game of it. If a friend or colleague catches you saying something negative, you must put ½ dollar in a drawer or container toward a dinner or evening out with that person. Do this for one month and see who has had to pay the most money toward the evening.

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Balance High-Tech, With a High-Touch Environment by Denis Waitley

You must think like a high-tech research firm, and act like a high-touch service firm to succeed in the borderless, global economy. The investment in human capital, the primacy of people, may be the most important consideration in networking for the future. Some managements that are reengineering their organizations and workforces are swerving off course with a belief that their first priority must be to install high-tech information systems. As they see it, this is doing first things first in the difficult adaptation to the new global competition. In fact, the most important reengineering may have more to do with people than systems – or, to put it another way, the transformation may have to be more cultural than technological. Millions of dollars have been wasted on costly MIS (management information systems) and hardware before discovering that human capital needs must precede high-tech needs.

I’m not suggesting that new systems, in particular information systems, are anything less than utterly essential.

It would be fatal to believe that by being a warm, high-touch, customer-focused firm or individual, you can avoid the investment in technology that offers access to the global information network. It may amuse you or please you that your grade-school children tend to be far more comfortable and skillful than you, their parents, with the computer and with the Internet.

More to the point, nearly all school children in the developing Asian nations – at least, so far, in the major cities – are becoming truly computer literate. This is so central a determinant of who will succeed in the future that to fall behind is like being sentenced to travel via freight train in the age of orbital space travel. Successful firms and individuals must be on the cutting edge of technological and human skills. You must have both. Heaven help you if you’re a techie who believes that being high-tech is enough to put you in touch with the world; that electronic wizardry alone will somehow provide the necessary customer satisfaction. That will get you run right over on the information superhighway. The Asian countries clearly recognize the need to blend touch with technology.

As one of America’s most frequent flyers and travelers, I see a great contrast between customer service in the United States and other Western societies, and in Asia. I can no longer count the number of times I have missed my flight connections in the United States due solely to the lack of sensitivity and conscientiousness on the part of airline staff to cater more to the needs of connecting passengers.

If performance bonuses were tied to on-time departures and excellent service, I feel there would be a marked improvement.

I also can’t count the number of times when I’ve traveled for most of a day or night, arrived at a crowded lobby, and waited in line for over twenty-five minutes only to be told that a convention had caused some unfortunate overbooking.  But if I’d waited another half-hour or so, a shuttle bus would take me and the others to an overflow hotel which was no more than another half-hour away.

For comparison, I could pick virtually any Asian hotel of any standing, but one that comes to mind is my experience with Stanley Yen and Taiwan’s Ritz Hotel some years ago. To ensure that my stay would be comfortable, he sent me a customer-focused questionnaire several weeks in advance. Did I prefer king, queen or two beds? Down or regular pillows? Soft or medium firm? Would I require a computer, fax or VCR? What beverages would I like in my minibar? Nothing was left to chance. When we arrived at the Taipei airport, three Mercedes limousines pulled up in front of the baggage claim area. The driver of the first was in a tuxedo, complete with a top hat. He jumped out, ran to the baggage carousel, spotted the gold plated bag tags the hotel had sent us in advance to identify our luggage, and retrieved our bags. With a beam and a bow, he said, "Welcome to the Ritz Hotel, Denis Waitley and family."

The driver radioed the hotel indicating each of our names and where we were seated in the cars, one car for the luggage and two for the passengers. The general manager was at the door of the hotel when we arrived. He greeted us by name as we left the limos, then escorted us through the lobby directly to the elevators. I asked about checking in. He smiled and said, "We have been expecting you, and we knew you would be tired from your travels," and therefore all registration would be handled by a simple credit card imprint after we were in our rooms. Our shoes were shined, luggage repaired, buttons sewed on…the response to everything was, "Can do, no problem."

This is the economic battlefield of the 21st Century in miniature. There is more high-rise construction in Shanghai, China, than in any other city in the world. Government-owned Singapore Airlines, rated continually at the top in customer service, is also a training institute for top executives, who learn how flight stewards and stewardesses, the most skillful in the business, cater to passenger customers. After our every sip of water in a Hong Kong restaurant, our glasses were refilled to the rim. My family and I noticed that every waiter and waitress seemed like little radar stations, searching for where service would next be needed. Our young waiter, who was computer literate and totally bilingual, was working his way through college and planning to finish his study of finance at Stanford University. When he refilled our glasses yet again, we asked him why the service was so good. He replied, "Because there are hundreds of thousands waiting to take our jobs. If we don’t refill your glasses every time, someone else is ready and willing to do it." This is why we must all be high-tech and high-touch.

From Taiwan to Malaysia, from Brazil to Mexico, from India to Eastern Europe, the new competitors are hungry immigrants with cell phones and laptops, willing to stay late, and doing anything necessary to get a seat at our banquet table.

Action Idea: In your business, what is one thing you can suggest that will improve the customer service of your organization?

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Institute a More Dynamic, Proactive System for Getting Back to People by Denis Waitley

Consider the following:

· When you receive a letter, write a short response in the margin of the letter and either fax or mail it back, within minutes after reading it.

· If it requires further action, set up a time-based suspense file. If the person has an e-mail address on the letterhead, e-mail an answer.

· Pick specific times to read and answer mail and e-mail. Answer all e-mails within 48 hours. If you can’t respond that soon, send a brief e-mail "will respond as soon as current commitments allow." Read mail when phone calls are not appropriate to make or receive. Mail is best read late at night or early in the morning. Make important outgoing calls first thing in the morning. Take non-critical incoming calls, after screening, in the afternoon or early evening.

· Use more handwritten notes. In the age of fax and e-mail, a note in your own handwriting signifies your special interest in that person.

· Make generous use of the free electronic greeting cards on bluemountain.com. There is a salutation for nearly every occasion on that website. I send at least two musical cards per week.

· Use a specific color on your e-mail that is distinctive and easy to read. Also, consider adding your photo to your e-mail and also using the new voice e-mail now available online.

· As we mentioned earlier, consider sending compatible Internet telephone software to someone important to you in a distant city or another country, so you can communicate often by phone, without paying long distance charges.

And, perhaps most important in the communication process, when you have procrastinated getting back to someone, or you feel someone has slighted you, or that you have offended someone…please take the initiative and make the call.

I have learned through the years that the greatest communication problems occur when no communication takes place. One of Parkinson’s most important laws is that; "The lack of communication creates a void that is quickly filled with doubt, fear, anxiety, poison and innuendo." Always be first to forgive. Always be willing to listen. Always be willing to make the call that everyone else is afraid to make. You’ll regret what you didn’t say or do much more than the things you did.

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Live By the Motto That Repeat Business and Profitability are Directly Related to Relationships Based on Trust by Denis Waitley

You never close a sale. You only begin a long-term relationship where both parties win.

Can you think of a successful relationship without mutual trust? Break that trust and you break the relationship. Subvert it and it’s almost impossible to put together again. Creating a long-term relationship takes two or more people – whether they’re executives, representatives of labor and management, or husband and wife – who are grounded in and operating on the same non-situational honesty.

The central secret of good communication is bringing the other person over to your side by satisfying one of every person’s most fundamental emotional needs: Make him or her feel valued. With rare exceptions, people who feel valued – who are allowed to feel important in the sense that they are recognized – answer with openness, cooperation and reciprocated respect. If you want respect, be respectable. If you want to be loved, be loveable. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy. If you want a life-long relationship, listen openly to the other person’s needs. Much more than trying to accumulate money and power, leaders in the new era will acquire good will by helping their associates, customers, neighbors, and loved ones to win. Instead of what can you do for me, we need to embrace the new stewardship role of what can I do for you.

Action Idea – At the beginning of each workday, do something special for someone you work with or provide a service for. At the end of each day, say or do something positive for a family member or friend.

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Be Committed to Keeping Your Personal and Professional Life in Balance by Denis Waitley

It is so important to be living in prime time, rather than watching TV in prime time. On your way to success make certain you grow friendships, not just bank and mutual fund accounts. Life is a collection of memories, not of material things. The Egyptian pharaohs were buried with all their treasures, and were mummified in hopes that they could enjoy their bounty in the next life. But we are only caretakers of possessions. There is a big difference between standard of living and quality of life. Standard of living is based on income earned. Quality of life is the enjoyment of the millions of minutes in between accomplishments.

Having money is only one aspect of wealth. To the sick person, wealth is health. To the lonely person, wealth is someone to talk to and share with. To the estranged person, wealth is hearing words of love and forgiveness.

Borrowing the free verse style from Brother Jeremiah’s classic poem, I’d Pick More Daisies, here are a few things I’d do, the second time around.

I’d laugh at my misfortunes more. Spend more time counting my blessings than my blemishes. Spend more time playing with my children and grandchildren and less time watching performers in the arena. More time enjoying what I have, less time thinking about the things I don’t have. If I could live my life again, I’d walk in the rain more without an umbrella and listen less to weather reports. I’d spend more time looking at trees and climbing them, less time flipping through magazines made from dead trees. I’d spend more time fully involved in the present moment, less time remembering and anticipating. I’d smile more, frown less.

And most of all I’d be more spontaneous and active, less hesitant and subdued. When some spur of the moment idea came up to go hiking, playing Frisbee, coloring Easter eggs, singing in a chorus, going kayaking, or watching an eclipse, I’d be less likely to sit in my chair objecting, "It’s not in our plan."

I’d be inclined to jump up and run out the door next time and say, "Yes, we can!" Although I can’t live my life again, I’m still going to live the new way every day any way. I’ll never have all the moments I’ve missed, but I do have all the time remaining.

Action Idea – Choose one activity this month that you really want to engage in, but that you have been putting off because it isn’t a priority. Schedule that activity in your planner, as if it were a "must do" business or financial commitment. When you have done it, while you are still feeling good, schedule one for next month, and do it as long as you live.

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Create Your Own Mission Statement for Your Personal and Professional Life by Denis Waitley

Two of life’s greatest tragedies are: Never to have had a great mission in life, and to have fully reached it so there is no challenge remaining.

Are you going where you want to go, doing what you want to do, and becoming who you want to become? These are the questions we must ask ourselves. Set some quiet time aside after you have finished this program and see the two you’s in the mirror of your mind:

1. There is the reflection of the person you are today.

2. There is the image of who you will be in the future.

Looking at my own life, I am incredibly different in many respects from the person I was ten years ago.

As you reflect on your past and anticipate the future, understand that virtually nothing you have experienced has been wasted. It all blends together into wisdom and knowledge, and creates your own unique brand of cultural diversity.

Action Idea: In your professional life, what is most important for you to achieve in the remainder of career? In your personal life, what is most important for you to achieve in the remainder of your life? Find a close friend or associate you trust and network with often, and challenge each other to continuously strive to reach these objectives.

As you consider your mission in life, you may want to use this final action step, Number Twenty-one, as your guidepost for the 21st Century: Chase Your Passion, Not Your Pension. Passion in your purpose will help you take control of your life, and also give you one other advantage that is not widely recognized: About ten more years of life, on average. Pursuit of a goal wears out very few people. But they rust out by the hundreds of thousands when their pursuit of happiness turns into a geriatric park. A job is something you do for money. A career is something you do because you have an inner calling to do it. You want to do it. You love doing it. You’re excited when you do it. And you’d do it even if you were paid nothing beyond food and the basics. You’d do it because it’s your life.

Be inspired to learn as much as you can, gain skills as much as you can, to find a cause that benefits humankind and you’ll be sought after for your quality of service and dedication to excellence. My nephew and niece, David and Heidi, at the ages of 30, had three little girls 7, 5 and 2. On an anniversary some years ago, they went out dancing and the margarita she had must have been one powerful fertility drug. She became pregnant that night, and with no incidence of multiple births in our family, eight months later, she delivered quadruplet girls, prematurely. I hurried down to the Children’s Hospital in San Diego to get a photo opportunity and possible media coverage as "Uncle Denis of the Waitley Quads." They told me to stand in the corner, saying I hadn’t contributed anything. The TV anchorwoman asked my niece Heidi how she felt. She said, "I feel a little tired. We’re going to need a new car." They turned to my nephew David, whose eyes looked like burnt corks. "David, as the father, how does it feel to have seven little girls under the age of seven?" David replied, "We’re not going to need a new car, we’re never going anywhere again." But that’s not the point of the story. In addition to seeing them as wonderful parents devoted to their seven little girls, my attention was focused on the neo-natal nurses caring for the newborn quadruplets, weighing between a pound and a half to two and a half pounds. Caring passionately for them like little birds in nests. Oblivious of quitting time. Not hearing the lunch bell at noon. Doing what they loved. Involved in helping improve the quality of life. We all can’t be Tiger Woods, or Barbra Streisand, or Jonas Salk. But we can chase our passion, not our pension. You’ll always do well, what you love most. That’s the essence of all that you’ve experienced in this program.

Action Idea: If you had the time and circumstances allowed, what is one of your most passionate desires in life you would like to pursue? It could be a new business idea, music, action, sports, or community service. Starting tomorrow, chase that passion a little bit at a time.

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Self-Knowledge, The Key to Preparing for Competition by Denis Waitley

 Self-knowledge has always been the key to preparing for competition. Knowledge of your attributes, abilities, interests, strengths, weaknesses, and traits is essential to riding the front end of the wave of change into the new century.  To fully assess your own talents, realize that studies confirm that what we love and do well as children continues as our latent or manifest talent as adults.

Examination of your weekend or evening interests might reveal a gem of potential you can apply to your vocation. I strongly suggest you don’t unthinkingly relegate what you love to do for yourself solely to hobbies. You might make it, or at least integrate it into your life’s work.

The acquisition of knowledge, which is the new global power, is a life-long experience, not a collection of facts or skills. Not long ago, what you learned in school was largely all you needed to learn to secure a career. With knowledge expanding exponentially, this is no longer true. Hundreds of scientific papers are published daily.

Every thirty seconds, some new technological company produces yet another innovation. Your formal education has a very short shelf life. Life-long learning, once a luxury for the few, has become absolutely vital to continued success. Continue gaining expertise and avoid thinking like an expert.

Action Idea: An excellent benchmarking exercise is to spend a weekend with key associates or family members and dust off your childhood memories. Remember what you really enjoyed and wanted to do most as a child. The next activity in assessing your interests is considering your current ones. What do you most enjoy after work? What do you most want to do on weekends and vacations? What are your hobbies? Can you bring more of what you enjoy into your business life?

Action Step - Increase Your Reading, Writing and Vocabulary Proficiency. One of the most important qualities of successful leaders is an ability to express thoughts and knowledge. Research by management and human resource experts confirms that no matter what the field of employment, people with large vocabularies - those able to speak clearly and concisely, using simple as well as descriptive words - are best at accomplishing their goals. Well chosen, carefully considered words can close the sale, negotiate the raise, enhance relationships, and change destinies.

In a world of e-mail, fax dispersal, voice mail, sound bites, concise reports, business plans, and meeting briefs, the individuals who can articulate their goals, substantiate their claims, and support their visions, will own the future. In the 21st Century, literacy will be the major difference between the haves and have-nots.

Why do fewer than 10 percent of the public buy and read nonfiction books? One reason is that many would rather get home than get ahead. They are motivated to get by and get pulled along by the company, the economy, or the government.

Another reason is that many individuals believe that information found in books, computer programs, and training sessions has no value in the business world. How self-deluding!

As the new tools of productivity become the Internet, the Digital Versatile Disc, direct digital download of text, audio and video, and the combination of the interactive computer with telecommunications, the people who know how to control the new technologies will acquire power, while those who thought that education ends with the diploma are destined for low-paying, low-satisfaction jobs. In almost the blink of an eye, our society has passed from the industrial age to the knowledge era.

Increase your reading by 100 percent. Decrease your television watching, and that of any children in your family by 50 percent. Surf the Internet and subscribe to book summaries, or download free chapters from different sources. By reading book summaries, you can gain the essence of all the top business books in a very brief period of time.

Action Idea: Read at least one book each month, and listen to at least one additional audio book or education series during commute or down time.

Knowledge is the new power. And literacy is the door to knowledge. Hopefully, listening to the "Psychology of Winning" program will be one of the keys that will open the door to your future for you.

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Overflowing Buckets of Wealth by Denis Waitley

With a little discipline and patience, you can make your journey to abundance and personal fulfillment a downhill flow instead of an uphill struggle. The key is to use the "overflowing buckets" concept of creating financial independence.

Picture your life as a five-step stairway, with you standing at the top and Fulfillment waiting for you at the bottom. Complete this picture by placing a large, empty bucket on each of the five steps and labeling the buckets from top to bottom:

Survival, Financial Stability, Quality of Life, Financial Security, Financial Independence.

Your objective is to fill each bucket with dollars as you progress down the stairway, so that when one bucket overflows, it begins to fill the next bucket.

The Survival bucket is how you can pay for your basic needs of food and shelter. Once you’ve taken care of these, any extra money flows into the second bucket, which is Financial Stability. Financial stability is the ability to keep solvent in the event of sudden, unforeseen changes and emergencies in your life – insurance against catastrophic loss.

To be financially stable, you must have an emergency fund in a savings account equal to a minimum of three month’s income, and preferably six months’ income. You also must have adequate permanent and transferable medical insurance that remains in force, regardless of your employment status, as well as life insurance, including some whole life, in addition to term, that accumulates cash value and has a level premium

Another critical component of financial stability is non-cancelable, individual permanent disability income insurance, equal to at least 70 percent of your monthly pay, but preferably 100 percent. One of the greatest financial blunders most people make is to forget that the possibility of loss of income resulting from an injury or illness is much greater than that of loss of life. Not only are you without income when you are sick or injured, you also do need to be cared for during that period, and the expenses continue even though you’re not able to work.

When bucket two is filled with contingency dollars for your financial stability, you can sit down with your inner circle and determine what standard of living will give you the quality of life you want: your home, family, education, recreation, possessions, etc. These considerations should be budgeted with a monthly amount of savings, however small.

If you can fill your Quality of Life bucket, a little extra discretionary income will trickle over the lip and fall into bucket four. This is the Financial Security bucket. Financial security is defined as the amount of assets that will give you the amount of after-tax income you need to maintain the standard of living necessary to have the quality of life you want, at some predetermined point into the future, without having to depend upon day-to-day employment. Less than 10 percent of Americans ever fill this bucket. Your goal is to be in this 10 percent. It is not based on salary. Many individuals in the top income brackets never reach financial security. Many middle-income Americans do. To get in the top 10 percent, you need to put 10 percent of your spendable into an appreciating investment fund every month, just like a mortgage payment.

The fifth and final bucket is Financial Independence. This is achieved when you beat the target date you set for retirement. The object of creating personal assets is to be financially independent of having to work, while you still have your health and are still young enough to enjoy those assets. Many individuals set their financial security target date at age 65. Using compound interest over time, you can beat your target date and set yourself free.

See your life as a stairway to fulfillment. Put your dollars in the right buckets, in the right order. You’ll be amazed at the way cash flows from bucket to bucket, like a river down a mountain.

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Six Behaviors that Increase Self-Esteem by Denis Waitley (excerpted from The Psychology of Motivation)

Following are six behaviors that increase self-esteem, enhance your self-confidence, and spur your motivation. You may recognize some of them as things you naturally do in your interactions with other people. But if you don’t, I suggest you motivate yourself to take some of these important steps immediately.

First, greet others with a smile and look them directly in the eye. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence born of self-respect. In the same way, answer the phone pleasantly whether at work or at home, and when placing a call, give your name before asking to speak to the party you want to reach. Leading with your name underscores that a person with self-respect is making the call.

Second, always show real appreciation for a gift or complement. Don’t downplay or sidestep expressions of affection or honor from others. The ability to accept or receive is a universal mark of an individual with solid self-esteem.

Third, don’t brag. It’s almost a paradox that genuine modesty is actually part of the capacity to gracefully receive compliments. People who brag about their own exploits or demand special attention are simply trying to build themselves up in the eyes of others — and that’s because they don’t perceive themselves as already worthy of respect.

Fourth, don’t make your problems the centerpiece of your conversation. Talk positively about your life and the progress you’re trying to make. Be aware of any negative thinking, and take notice of how often you complain. When you hear yourself criticize someone — and this includes self-criticism — find a way to be helpful instead of critical.

Fifth, respond to difficult times or depressing moments by increasing your level of productive activity. When your self-esteem is being challenged, don’t sit around and fall victim to "paralysis by analysis." The late Malcolm Forbes said, "Vehicles in motion use their generators to charge their own batteries. Unless you happen to be a golf cart, you can’t recharge your battery when you’re parked in the garage!"

Sixth, choose to see mistakes and rejections as opportunities to learn. View a failure as the conclusion of one performance, not the end of your entire career. Own up to your shortcomings, but refuse to see yourself as a failure. A failure may be something you have done — and it may even be something you’ll have to do again on the way to success — but a failure is definitely not something you are.

Even if you’re at a point where you’re feeling very negatively about yourself, be aware that you’re now ideally positioned to make rapid and dramatic improvement. A negative self-evaluation, if it’s honest and insightful, takes much more courage and character than the self-delusions that underlie arrogance and conceit. I’ve seen the truth of this proven many times in my work with athletes. After an extremely poor performance, a team or an individual athlete often does much better the next time out, especially when the poor performance was so bad that there was simply no way to shirk responsibility for it. Disappointment, defeat, and even apparent failure are in no way permanent conditions unless we choose to make them so. On the contrary, these undeniably painful experiences can be the solid foundation on which to build future success.

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The Virtue of Patience by Denis Waitley (excerpted from The Psychology of Motivation)

While persistence is the determination to strive to achieve your ultimate goal, there is another virtue of equally great value. Persistence keeps us moving inside ourselves to see the purpose behind the purpose, but patience is the wisdom behind persistence.

Patience cautions us to focus our efforts on what we can change while accepting what we cannot When external circumstance rains on our parade, patience is our umbrella. Rather than blaming what we cannot control, patience is the wisdom behind persistence.

It is when a goal is distant and difficult to reach that patience is an ally. Time changes everything, but with patience you can keep your desires relatively constant. If you can just hang on long enough, time will finally create the conditions in which you can succeed.

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Making the Most of Today by Denis Waitley (excerpted from The Psychology of Motivation)

What each of us is doing this minute is the most important event in history for us. We have decided to invest our resources in THIS opportunity rather than in any other.

It is helpful to remember this when we consider the passage of time. As I write this, my mother is in her eighties and I will never see fifty again. As the years pass, I am acutely aware that the bird of time is on the wing. At my fortieth high school reunion, I saw people who claimed to be my former classmates. We all had big name tags printed in capital letters so we wouldn't have to squint with our reading glasses on trying to associate the name with each well-traveled face. It was only yesterday that I was really enjoying high school. What had happened to the four decades in between? Where had they flown?

To the side of the bandstand, where the big-band sound of the late 1940s and 50s blared our favorite top-ten hits, there was a poster with a printed verse for all of us to see. I read the words aloud: "There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension."

"One of these days is YESTERDAY, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed or erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone."

"The other day we should not worry about is TOMORROW, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and its poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control."

"This leaves only one day, TODAY. Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities - Yesterday and Tomorrow - that we break down."

"It is not the experience of Today that drives us mad, it is remorse and bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore… Live this one full TODAY."

Malcolm Forbes believed the important thing is "never say die until you're dead," and he lived that example to the hilt. It is, as we realize when we suddenly attend our fortieth high school reunion, a short journey.

But it is difficult to be depressed and active at the same time. So get active! Live TODAY.

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Allowing Setbacks to Spur You On by Denis Waitley (Excerpted from The Psychology of Motivation)

Many times, we look at high achievers and assume they had a string of lucky breaks or made it without much effort. Usually, the opposite is true, and the so-called superstar had an incredibly rough time before he or she attained any lasting success.

It may motivate you more toward your own goals to know that some of the most famous and well-known people in modern times had to overcome as difficult obstacles as anyone before they finally reached the top It takes persistence and total commitment to your goals, but it's possible!

You may not know the background of a certain laundry worker who earned sixty dollars a week at his job but had the burning desire to be a writer. His wife worked nights, and he spent nights and weekends typing manuscripts to send to publishers and agents. Each one was rejected with a form letter that gave him no assurance that his manuscripts had even been read. I've received a few of those special valentines myself through the years, and I can tell you first hand that they're not the greatest self-esteem builders.

But finally, a warm, more personal rejection letter came in the mail to the laundry worker, stating that although his work was not good enough at this point to warrant publishing, he had promise as a writer and he should keep trying.

He forwarded two more manuscripts to the same friendly-yet-rejecting publisher over the next eighteen months, and as before, he struck out with both of them too. Finances got so tight for the young couple that they had to disconnect their telephone to pay for medicine for their baby.

Feeling totally discouraged, he threw his latest manuscript into the garbage. His wife, totally committed to his life goals and believing in his talent, took the manuscript out of the trash and sent it back to Doubleday, the publisher who had sent the friendly rejections. The book, titled Carrie, sold over five million copies, and as a movie, became one of the top-grossing films in 1976. The laundry worker, of course, was Stephen King.

The main message - believe in your ability to turn obstacles into opportunities. Too often people try to storm their obstacles as if they're forts that need to be taken. It's better to step back and ask yourself: "Did I cause this obstacle by my own actions or lack of them? Did someone else cause this obstacle? Is this obstacle one that grew out of the natural progression of circumstances?"

This last question may seem complex, but it holds a secret to the way you can set and reach your goals and achieve your destiny!

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Aged to Perfection by Denis Waitley

LIVING IN THIS MOMENT, IN THE BEAT OF A HEART

In the beat of a heart, a child is born. In the beat of a heart a celebrity or unknown person faces mortality. In the beat of a heart, an Olympic speed skater wins the gold medal. In the beat of a heart, history is made by something someone did or did not say or do. In the beat of a heart our children will have grown and flown, with families of their own.

I looked in the mirror this morning and saw Rip Van Waitley, the little boy I used to be, now able to get my senior’s discount at the movie theater. As I write these words, I have just returned from a family reunion to celebrate my mother’s 92^nd birthday, and soon I will be the eldest in our clan, the keeper of the family tree and curator of our memories.

I already suffer from "Dessert Altsheimer’s". When I go to the buffet, I ask the restaurant staff?  Was I just here?  Did I already have the carrot cake and chocolate decadence? Or is this my first trip, as I think it is?

Many of my favorite anecdotes now center around older people. You may recall the true story concerning famous newscaster Lowell Thomas, when at the age of 87 married a 58-year-old woman and took her to Europe aboard a luxury cruise ship for their honeymoon. My friend Art Linkletter, who went to high school with my mother, sent Lowell Thomas a cryptic telegram:  "Be careful and conservative, Lowell. This trip could be fatal!"   Whereupon, Lowell Thomas telegraphed back, "If she’s gotta go, she’s gotta go!

A favorite fictional story I like to tell is about a forlorn older man sitting, crying, on a bench in New York’s Central Park.  A passerby tried to help and comfort the old man:

"How can I help you, are you homeless?

 "No," sniffled the old man, "I have a large, comfortable townhouse on E. 67^th Street! "

"Well then," said the good Samaritan, "are you lonely and by yourself?"

"No," the old man shook his head. "I have a beautiful, romantic young wife waiting for me."

 "Why you ungrateful, wretched mal-content, why are you sniveling there feeling sorry for yourself?" the passerby scolded.   

The old man wiped a tear from his eye and replied miserably, "I can’t remember where I live?"

Soon I will no longer buy green bananas, rather than worry about living long enough for them to ripen. And a meaningful discussion for me will concern what we had for lunch at the senior center.

Let’s make a pledge together, You and I, to seize this moment and live it to the fullest, rather than yearn for the past or simply dream of a bright future. Let’s keep the playful spirit full of curiosity and energy like a child, and live in the now, in this beat of a heart.

Of all the wisdom I have gained, the most important is the knowledge that time and health are two precious assets that we rarely recognize or appreciate until they have been depleted. As with health, time is the raw material of life. You can use it wisely, waste it or even kill it.

Each human being now living has exactly 168 hours per week. Scientists can’t invent new minutes, and even the super rich can’t buy more hours. Queen Elizabeth the First of England, the richest, most powerful woman on earth of her era, whispered these final words on her deathbed: "All my possessions for a moment of time!"

We worry about things we want to do – but can’t – instead of doing the things we can do – but don’t. How often have you said to yourself, "Where did the day go? I accomplished nothing," or "I can’t even remember what I did yesterday." That time is gone, and you never get it back.

Staring at the compelling distractions on a television screen is one of the major consumers of time. You can enjoy and benefit from the very best it has to offer in about seven total hours of viewing per week. But the average person spends more than thirty hours per week in a semi-stupor, escaping from the priorities and goals he or she never gets around to setting. The irony is that the people we are watching are having fun achieving their own goals, making money, having us look at them enjoying their careers.

Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you’ve wasted in the past, you still have an entire today. If you’ve just frittered away an hour procrastinating, you will still be given the next hour to start on priorities. Time management contains one great paradox: No one has enough time, and yet everyone has all there is. Time is not the problem; the problem is separating the urgent from the important.

Every decision we make has an "opportunity cost." Every decision forfeits all other opportunities we had before we made it. We can’t be two places at the same time. 

In their excellent management book Tradeoffs, Drs. Greiff and Munter discuss the difficult options that face us in all areas of our lives. One case in point illustrates a common opportunity cost. It’s a true anecdote they call, "Bicycle vs. Mother:"

"Johnny is a precocious eight-year-old boy. Both his parents work. His mother is a management consultant and travels frequently. After being away for several days, she arrived home late one night and hugged her son.

"He said, ‘Mom, I missed you. Why were you away so long?’

"She smiled and replied, ‘One of the reasons I was away was to make enough money to buy you the bicycle you wanted.’

"Young Johnny looked at her reflectively and stated, ‘Mom, I really did want the bicycle. But mothers are more important than bicycles. So please stay home more.’"

Even though we all are aware of the tradeoffs of "quality time vs. quantity time" in our relationships, we are not used to thinking specifically about how our decisions cost us other opportunities. Without this understanding, our decisions will often be unfocused and unrelated to helping us achieve our most important goals.

Each day we will continue to encounter deadlines we must meet and "fires," not necessarily of our own making, we must put out. Endless urgent details will always beg for attention, time and energy. What we seldom realize is that the really important things in our life don’t make such strict demands on us, and therefore we usually assign them a lower priority.

To live a rich, balanced life we need to be more in conscious control of our habits and lifestyles. We need a regular exercise routine. We need to practice what we preach regarding our own eating and health habits. We need to relax more through musical, cultural, artistic, outdoor and family activities. We need sufficient sleep and rest to meet the next day renewed and invigorated. In addition to blocking periods of time for recreation and vacations, we also need to schedule large, uninterrupted periods of work on our most important projects.

Contrary to popular notions, most books, works of art, inventions, and musical compositions are created during uninterrupted time frames, not by a few lines, strokes, or notes every so often. Every book or audio program I have written has been done with the discipline of twelve to fifteen hours per day during a specific block of time.

You see, it’s the easiest thing in the world to neglect the important and give in to the urgent. One of the greatest skills you can ever develop in your life is not only to tell the two apart, but to be able to assign the correct amount of time to each.

There is no company or government agency to remind you to stay focused on doing first things first. And, our loved ones don’t schedule conference calls with us that we must make. They understand when we are preoccupied with our urgent business, but it’s hard for us to understand, many years later, why they appear preoccupied when we finally find some time for them.

I have never received a call from a university begging me to improve my knowledge, nor received an e-mail from my health spa insisting that I show up and work out for thirty minutes each day. The grocery clerks have never made me put back on the shelves the junk food I put in the cart, nor have I ever been subpoenaed by the ocean or the mountains to appear for relaxation and solitude. Yet I receive hundreds of urgent phone messages and e-mails each week from people with deadlines.

Beginning tomorrow, throughout the day, and every day thereafter, stop and ask yourself this question: "Is what I’m doing right now important to my health, well-being and mission in life, and for my loved ones?"  Your affirmative answer will free you forever, from the tyranny of the urgent.

And more than any other quality except integrity, compassion, and respect, maintain a well-developed sense of humor. I love to make light of myself and how ridiculous it is to take yourself so seriously, you actually believe you’re at the center of the universe. Laughter is the greatest stress buster and smiling is the best way to have a face lift.

I did go to my fiftieth high school reunion recently. It was a big mistake. We all had oversized name tags, with capital letters, but it didn’t matter, because none of us could make out the names without our reading glasses. We all had our graduation yearbook photos on our name tags. It was a big mistake.

We all saw old people who claimed to be our classmates. The cheerleaders looked like the Refrigerettes. The football players chests had all fallen to their drawers, and they were driving Frito Lay trucks

My high school sweetheart didn’t even recognize me with my name tag. She broke out laughing and said, innocently, " how many wars were you in?" Although it’s not nice to seek revenge, which is a loser’s defensive reaction, I couldn’t help but answer her back with a wink:  "I recognized you right away.  I spent a lot of time with your mother when we were young!"

She said, "That’s not like you to say things like that."  I said, I know:  "I grew up to be the kind of boy my mother didn’t want me to play with." We both laughed and hugged, and wondered where the years had flown.

It seems like only yesterday that I was jitterbugging and slow dancing at the prom listening to the big band sounds with Sinatra, Doris Day, Peggy Lee, Jo Stafford, and Louis Armstrong in the background. What had happened to the five decades in between?

Fifty years had passed, in the beat of a heart.

At my high school golden anniversary, I stood up before the aging, dwindling student body who had gathered at the La Jolla Beach and Tennis Club, as I had so many years ago and recited these words:

"There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension. One of these days is Yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

 The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow’s sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds; but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is as yet unborn.

This leaves only one day: Today.

 Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It’s only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities, Yesterday and Tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives us mad, it is remorse and bitterness for something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore, live this one full Today."

Make your decision to grab this precious moment in joy, faith and thankfulness and count your many blessings instead of your blemishes.

In the beat of a heart, this moment will be history.

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Chase Your Passion (Not Your Pension)! by Denis Waitley

Lisa, our youngest daughter, recently earned her master’s degree to start a career as a high school English teacher. I doubt she was more excited about her graduation than her parents were. As we entered the stadium for the commencement services, it dawned on me that after putting seven children through college and graduate studies, I’d finally be able to fund my retirement plan.

It was very hot in the concrete arena. A midday sun beat squarely in our faces. I suspected that the exercises would be long and merciless. As the graduates filed in, I was amused to see slogans taped to their tasseled caps. "Will work for food!"  "Get my room ready, Mom!" Our daughter’s read, "Thanks Mom and Pop." Some wore bathing suits beneath their gowns. Some blew bubbles with a pipe and soap. Most were ecstatic about finally leaving school, visibly impatient for that night’s parties and for freedom and the opportunity to earn.

Olmos "Stood and Delivered"

As the warm-up speakers droned on about politically correct issues, I wondered whether any time would remain for the main speaker. In fact, his address lasted barely ten minutes, which may have set a national record for brevity.

(Winston Churchill holds the international record: thirty seconds to repeat "Never give up!" nine times.) That main speaker was Edward James Olmos, the actor-activist who played Jaime Escalante in an inspiring movie about inner-city students called Stand and Deliver. Olmos stood up, removed his cap, and regarded the graduates. "So we’re ready to party?" he asked. "Yeah, let’s party!" they answered in unison. "I know, thank God it’s Friday," he resumed. "But commencement means to begin, not finish. You’ve had a four-year sabbatical from life, and now you’re ready to go out there and earn. You’re only beginning Real World 101 in your education.

"One more thing before we leave," he continued. "Please never, ever work for money. Please don’t just get a job. A job is something that many of you had while you worked your way through college. A job is something you do for money. But a career is something you do because you’re inspired to do it. You want to do it, you love doing it, you’re excited when you do it. And you’d do it even if you were paid nothing beyond food and the basics. You’d do it because it’s your life."

What he was saying, which I have tried to recall and interpret in my own words is that many of you will go out and try to get the highest-paying job possible, regardless of the industry, regardless of the opportunity, regardless of the service or product the company may provide. If you chase money, it may catch you – and if it catches you, you’ll forever be its slave.

By letting money pursue you but never catch you, you’ll always be its master. By always doing what you love, loving what you do, delivering more than you promise, you’ll always be underpaid – which is how it always should be.

For if you’re paid more than you’re worth, you may be restructured, reengineered, replaced, fired, declared obsolete, disposed of. Overpaid people are overdrawn in their knowledge bank account. People who are underpaid for the level and quality of the service they provide are always in demand and always ahead of the money in their knowledge and contribution. So money and opportunity are always chasing them. This is what I got out of the commencement speech that day.

Olmos concluded with a charged voice and moist eyes. "Chase your passion, not your pension! Be inspired to learn as much as you can, to find a cause that benefits humankind – and you’ll be sought after for your quality of service and dedication to excellence. This passion will make you oblivious of quitting time and to the length of your workday. You’ll awake every morning with the passion of pursuit, but not the pursuit of money ….

Those who do more than they’re paid for are always sought for their services. Their name and work outlive them and always command the highest price. Chase your passion, not your pension!"

The graduates were stunned. Many cried with joy. I was speechless, which is rare indeed. Olmos was no actor speaking for an honorarium. He was all passion, pure and simple. "Maybe we should have taught that in a class," I heard a faculty member say.

Motive in Action

Motivation is a contraction of motive and action. An inner force that compels behavior, it comes from within, not from any external circumstance. You know where you’re going because you have a compelling image inside, not a travel poster on the wall, a financial statement with a big bonus, or a slogan in the hall. The performance of may externally motivated individuals begins declining as soon as they win contests of one sort or another. I’ve personally witnessed this among Super Bowl champions and World Cup teams that lost the incentive to maintain their excellence after winning the cup, the honors, and the cash.

If you’re really committed to peak performance and leadership, you must motivate yourself from within. Studies of achievers show that inner drives for excellence and independence are far more powerful that desire for wealth, status or recognition.

The Inner Drive

Behavioral scientists have found that independent desire for excellence is the most telling predictor of significant achievement.

In other words, the success of our efforts depends less on the efforts themselves than on our motives. The most successful companies, like the most successful men and women in almost all fields, have achieved their greatness out of a desire to express what they felt had to be expressed. Often it was a desire to use their skills to their utmost in order to solve a problem. This is not to say that many of them did not also earn a great deal of money and prestige. William Shakespeare, Thomas Edison, Estee Lauder, Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey, Sam Walton and Bill Gates all became wealthy. But far more than thoughts of profit, the key to their success was inspiration and inner drive by creating or providing excellence in a product or a service. All were motivated by the desire to produce the very best that was in them.

Go for the Inner Applause

The late Ray Kroc, a former neighbor of mine who founded McDonald’s Corporation when he was in his fifties, stressed the importance of people working for the inner satisfaction, not just for the money. Ray said most people find it difficult to associate applause with their work when they can’t hear literal applause – but the important applause should come from within. It is the faster heartbeat, the pride and satisfaction of accomplishment.

Kroc told the University of Southern California’s Business School that the first thing a business executive needs is love of an idea.

If you don’t love your concept, drop it. If you prostitute yourself at an early age by taking a job where the money is, you’ll be working for money all your life. Loving their work is particularly important for younger people. If they lose that love early, they may never grow to anywhere near their potential for self-actualization.

Hire People Who Have Empowered Themselves

 An inner drive for excellence motivates you always to be the best you possible can in whatever you do. Leaders and managers should take special note hear. They must be careful in their use of external motivators – money, perks, prestigious offices and titles – in trying to inspire their team members and employees. Enduring motivation must always come ultimately from within the individual.

That’s why empowerment and vision are so crucial to team performance and quality. Their power and their vision, not those of the leader must compel team members. Interviewing potential members, you should look for internally motivated individuals who hold their work important for its own sake, who love their field or their industry, who seek the exhilaration of testing their limits and contributing to the world. Be wary if they show more interest in your compensation package than in their contribution package.

Put Your Signature On Your Career

No one exemplifies the concepts in this article better than Antonio Stradivari, an Italian violin maker who lived from 1644 to 1737. Stradivari died at the age of ninety-three, at a time when the average life expectancy was a little over thirty-five years. He taught himself his trade. His tools were primitive, and he usually worked alone until later in life, when his sons joined him. Stradivari had a passion. He put the best of himself into every violin and viola.  When he was finished and was certain that his craftsmanship measured up to his personal standards, he signed his name on the instrument.

Nearly three hundred years later, his violins sell for hundreds of thousands and even millions of dollars, and Stradivarius is a synonym for quality throughout the world. But far from every man or woman with uncommon standards of excellence become celebrities. At this very moment, thousands or tens of thousands are working unknown and unsung in industry, the arts and the sciences. The public has never heard of them and probably never will; yet they refuse to turn out shoddy work. They are in the minority, but that’s where they’ve always been – playing for a gallery of one, for their own inner applause. Remember, people who consistently do things well set their own standards and make themselves measure up. In so doing, they:

·        Give the best of themselves to benefit others, making their work a source of joy and satisfaction while they experience deep self-respect from being uncommon contributors.

·        Build a kind of security that lasts a lifetime or beyond, because respect for quality always abides and will always command the highest price. If you accept nothing but excellence from yourself and feel entitled to put your name on your work, both will endure. The bitterness of poor quality lingers on long after the sweetness of low price.

Chase your passion, not your pension!

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Becoming a Proactive Leader by Denis Waitley

The knowledge era’s new leaders, many of whom are immigrants and women, are managing change by conceiving innovative organizations and novel ways to attract and motivate employees. They are learning to be proactive instead of reactive, and to appreciate the full importance of relationships and alliances. They also have a healthy aptitude for risk and perseverance, and know how to gain strength from setbacks and failure.

Life’s Batting Average

Baseball’s greatest hitter grew up near my neighborhood in San Diego. When Ted Williams slugged for the Boston Red Sox, my father and I kept a record of his daily batting average. And when I played Little League ball, my dad told me not to worry about striking out. In Williams’s finest year, dad reminded me, the champion failed at the plate about 60 percent of the time.

Football’s greatest quarterbacks complete only six out of ten passes. The best basketball players make only half their shots. Even with satellite mapping and expert geologists, leading oil companies make strikes in only one out of ten wells. Actors and actresses auditioning for roles are turned down twenty-nine in thirty times. And stock market winners make money on only two out of five of their investments.

Since failure is a given in life, success takes more than leadership beliefs and solid behavioral patterns. It also takes an appropriate response to the inevitable, including an effective combination of risk-taking and perseverance. I meet many individuals who are seeking security at all costs, and avoiding risk whenever and wherever possible. Knowing that certain changes would make success much more likely for them, they nevertheless take the path of least resistance: no change. For the temporary, often illusory comfort of staying as they are, they pay the terrible price of a life not truly lived.

Parable of the Cautious Man

There was a very cautious man,

who never laughed or cried.

He never risked, he never lost,

he never won nor tried.

And when he one day passed away,

his insurance was denied,

For since he never really lived,

they claimed he never died.

In other words, missed opportunities are the curse of potential. Just after the Great Depression, Americans, perhaps understandably at the time, took many steps intended to minimize risk. The government guaranteed much of our savings. Citizens bought billions of dollars worth of insurance. We sought lifetime employment and our unions fought for guaranteed annual cost-of-living increases to protect us from inflation. This security-blanket mentality has continued in recent decades as executives awarded themselves giant golden parachutes in case a merger or takeover took their plum jobs.

These measures had many benefits, but the drawbacks have also been heavy, even if less obvious. In our eagerness to avoid risk, we forgot its positive aspects. Many of us continue to overlook the fact that progress comes only when chances are taken. And the security we sought and continue to seek often produces boredom, mediocrity, apathy and reduced opportunity.

We still hear much about security, especially from federal and state politicians. But total security is a myth except, perhaps, for those six feet underground in the cemetery. We may indeed ask our government for guaranteed benefits. But we must be aware that when a structure starts with a floor, walls and ceilings will follow. And herein lies a paradoxical proverb:

You must risk in order to gain security, but you must never seek security.

When security becomes a major goal in life – when fulfillment and joy are reduced to merely holding on, sustaining the status quo – the risk remains heavy. It is then a risk of losing the prospects of real advancement, of not being able to ride the wave of change today and tomorrow. Had the founders of Yahoo, Amazon.com and America Online been concerned with immediate profits and return on investment, we would not be enjoying those Internet services today, each of which has a greater market capitalization than IBM or General Motors.

Procrastination Doesn’t Make Perfect

Perfectionists are often great procrastinators. Having stalled until the last minutes, they tear into a project with dust flying and complaints about insufficient time. Perfectionist-procrastinators are masters of the excuse that short notice kept them from doing the quality job they could have done.

But that’s hardly the only variety of procrastination – which is one of my own favorite hiding places when I try to blame external conditions instead of myself for some difficulty. Mine comes with a gnawing feeling of being fatigued, always behind. I try to tell myself that I’m taking it easy and gathering my energies for a big new push, but procrastination differs markedly from genuine relaxation – which is truly needed. And it saves me no time or energy. On the contrary, it drains both, leaving me with self-doubt on top of self-delusion.

We’re all very busy. Every day we seem to have a giant to-do list of people to see, projects to complete, e-mails to read, e-mails to write. We have calls to answer and calls to make, then more calls to people with whom we keep playing voice-mail tag.

Henri Nouwen’s classic book Making All Things New likens our lives to "overstuffed suitcases that are bursting at the seams."

Feeling there is forever far too much to do, we say we’re really under the gun this week. But working hard or even heroically to solve a problem is little to our credit if we created the problem in the first place. When most people refer to themselves as being under the gun, they want to believe, or do believe, that the pressures and problems are not of their own making. In most cases, however, the gun appeared after failure to attend to business in good time. Instead of being proactive early, they procrastinated until the due date became a crisis deadline.

By the Inch Life’s a Cinch, by the Yard it’s Hard

One of the best escapes from the prison of procrastination is to take even the smallest steps toward your goals. People usually procrastinate because of fear and lack of self-confidence – and, ironically, become even more afraid when under the gun. There are many ways to experiment and test new ground without risking the whole ball game on one play.

Experience has shown that when people go after one big goal at once, they invariably fail. If you had to swallow a twelve-ounce steak all at once, you’d choke. You have to cut the steak into small pieces, eating one bite at a time. So it is with prioritizing. Proactive goal achievement means taking every project and cutting it up into bite-sized pieces. Each small task or requirement on the way to the ultimate goal becomes a mini-goal in itself. Using this method, the goal becomes manageable. When mini-mistakes are made, they are easy to correct. And with the achievement of each mini-goal, you receive reinforcement and motivation in the form of positive feedback. As basic as this sounds, much frustration and failure is caused when people try to "bite off more than they can chew" by taking on assignments with limited resources and impossible timeline expectations.

Two major fears that sire procrastination are fear of the unknown and fear of rejection or looking foolish. A third fear – of success – is often overlooked. Many people, even many executives, fear success because it carries added responsibility that can seem too heavy to bear, such as setting an example of excellence that calls for additional effort and willingness to take risks. Success, without adequate self-esteem or the belief that it is deserved, also can create feelings of guilt and the result is only temporary or fleeting high achievement. Playing it safe can seem more tempting than a need to step forward with determination to do it now and do it right.

Moving from Procrastination to Proactivation:

Here are some ideas to help make you a victor over change rather than a victim of change:

1.      Set your wake-up time a half hour earlier tomorrow and keep the clock at that setting. Use the extra time to think about the best way to spend your day.

2.      Memorize and repeat this motto: "Action TNT: Today, not Tomorrow." Handle each piece of incoming mail only once. Answer your e-mail either early in the morning or after working hours. Block out specific times to initiate phone calls, personally take incoming calls, and to meet people in person.

3.      When people tell you their problems, give solution-oriented feedback. Rather than taking on the problem as your own assignment, first, ask what’s the next step they plan to take, or what they would like to see happen.

4.      Finish what you start. Concentrate all your energy and intensity without distraction on successfully completing your current major project.

5.      Be constructively helpful instead of unhelpfully critical. Single out someone or something to praise instead of participating in group griping, grudge collecting or pity parties.

6.      Limit your television viewing or Internet surfing to mostly educational or otherwise enlightening programs. Watch no more than one hour of television per day or night, unless there is a special program you have been anticipating. The Internet has also become a great procrastinator’s hideout for tension-relieving instead of goal-achieving activities.

7.      Make a list of five necessary but unpleasant projects you’ve been putting off, with a completion date for each project. Immediate action on unpleasant projects reduces stress and tension. It is very difficult to be active and depressed at the same time.

8.      Seek out and converse with a successful role model and mentor. Learning from others’ successes and setbacks will inevitably improve production of any kind. Truly listen; really find out how your role models do it right.

9.      Understand that fear, as an acronym, is False Evidence Appearing Real, and that luck could mean Laboring Under Correct Knowledge. The more information you have on any subject – especially case histories – the less likely you’ll be to put off your decisions.

10.  Accept problems as inevitable offshoots of change and progress. With the ever more rapid pace of change in society and business, you’ll be overwhelmed unless you view change as normal and learn to look for its positive aspects – such as new opportunities and improvements – rather than bemoan the negative.

There is actually no such thing as a "future" decision; there are only present decisions that will affect the future. Procrastinators wait for just the right moment to decide.

If you wait for the prefect moment, you become a security-seeker who is running in place, unwittingly digging yourself deeper into your rut. If you wait for every objection to be overcome, you’ll attempt nothing. Get out of your comfort zone and go from procrastinating to proactivating.  Make your personal motto: "Stop stewing and start doing!"                   

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Seven Techniques for Overcoming the Tendency to Procrastinate by Denis Waitley

The science of physics recognizes two kinds of inertia - both of which can be related to procrastination. The first law states, "Standing objects tend to remain stationary." The second law is the inverse: "Moving objects tend to stay in motion."

Procrastination is stationary inertia. We aren’t moving, and we therefore don't move!

Procrastination overcome, however, moves us into the arena where the law of motion takes over. We frequently find that once we've started a project or process, we stay with it until completion. One of my favorite sayings from my friend Dr. Robert Schuller is posted on my word processor: "Beginning is Half Done!"  (I've modified it to say, "Beginning is Half Won!") 

Here are seven techniques to overcome procrastination: 

1. Take five minutes to identify what you are putting off.

On a blank sheet of paper, note several important activities that you realize you are delaying or have put on hold.

 2. Look at your list of tasks and do one of them right now.

Put the energy you've been directing toward excuses into the activity you've been avoiding. You'll discover that action eliminates anxiety.

 3. If getting started is the hard part for you, set a designated time slot in the day to work on the list.

Set aside thirty minutes of your lunch hour for work specifically on one job, project, or personal goal that you've been avoiding or find difficult to start.

4. Don't worry about perfection. 

What counts is quality of effort, not perfect results. Don't let yourself get bogged down with a preoccupation for perfectionism.

5. If what you are putting off involves other people, consult with them.

Your reasons for delaying action may be imaginary. Lack of communication often turns molehills into mountains.

6. If you fear the consequences associated with the action you've been avoiding, ask yourself, What's the worst thing that could happen If I did this today?

The worst-case scenario most likely would be a minor inconvenience or a temporary setback. 

7. Finally, Vividly picture how you'll feel once the task is done. 

Freedom from anxiety. Freedom from nagging pressures. Freedom from self-doubt. Accomplishing put-off tasks will give you a great boost of confidence and energy!

Ground breaking requires TNT. To blast your way out of apathy and overcoming procrastination. Remember what TNT means: Today! Not Tomorrow!

Life Balance: The Urgent vs The Important by Denis Waitley

Of all the wisdom I have gained, the most important is the knowledge that time and health are two precious assets that we rarely recognize or appreciate until they have been depleted. As with health, time is the raw material of life. You can use it wisely, waste it or even kill it.

To accomplish all we are capable of, we would need a hundred lifetimes. If we had forever in our mortal lives, there would be no need to set goals, plan effectively or set priorities. We could squander our time and perhaps still manage to accomplish something, if only by chance. Yet in reality, we’re given only this one life span on earth to do our earthly best.

Each human being now living has exactly 168 hours per week. Scientists can’t invent new minutes, and even the super rich can’t buy more hours. Queen Elizabeth the First of England, the richest, most powerful woman on earth of her era, whispered these final words on her deathbed: "All my possessions for a moment of time!"

We worry about things we want to do – but can’t – instead of doing the things we can do – but don’t. How often have you said to yourself, "Where did the day go? I accomplished nothing," or "I can’t even remember what I did yesterday." That time is gone, and you never get it back.

Staring at the compelling distractions on a television screen is one of the major consumers of time. You can enjoy and benefit from the very best it has to offer in about seven total hours of viewing per week. But the average person spends more than thirty hours per week in a semi-stupor, escaping from the priorities and goals he or she never gets around to setting. The irony is that the people we are watching are having fun achieving their own goals, making money, having us look at them enjoying their careers.

Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you’ve wasted in the past, you still have an entire today. If you’ve just frittered away an hour procrastinating, you will still be given the next hour to start on priorities. Time management contains one great paradox: No one has enough time, and yet everyone has all there is. Time is not the problem; the problem is separating the urgent from the important.

Every decision we make has an "opportunity cost." Every decision forfeits all other opportunities we had before we made it. We can’t be two places at the same time. 

In their excellent management book Tradeoffs, Drs. Greiff and Munter discuss the difficult options that face us in all areas of our lives. One case in point illustrates a common opportunity cost. It’s a true anecdote they call, "Bicycle vs. Mother:"

"John is a precocious eight-year-old boy. Both his parents work. His mother is a management consultant and travels frequently. After being away for several days, she arrived home late one night and hugged her son.

"He said, ‘Mom, I missed you. Why were you away so long?’

"She smiled and replied, ‘One of the reasons I was away was to make enough money to buy you the bicycle you wanted.’

"Young John looked at her reflectively and stated, ‘Mom, I really did want the bicycle. But mothers are more important than bicycles. So please stay home more.’"

Even though we all are aware of the tradeoffs of "quality time vs. quantity time" in our relationships, we are not used to thinking specifically about how our decisions cost us other opportunities. Without this understanding, our decisions will often be unfocused and unrelated to helping us achieve our most important goals.

You may have heard the story about the analogy of the "circus juggler" to each of us as we try to balance our personal and professional priorities. I have heard the story repeated by many keynote speakers and have used it in previous books, but have never been able to trace the identity of the original author.

When the circus juggler drops a ball, he lets it bounce and picks it up on the next bounce without losing his rhythm or concentration. He keeps right on juggling. Many times we do the same thing. We lose our jobs, but get another one on the first or second bounce. We may drop the ball on a sale, an opportunity to move ahead, or in a relationship, and we either pick it up on the rebound or get a new one thrown in to replace what we just dropped.

However, some of the balls or priorities we juggle don’t bounce. The more urgent priorities associated with self-imposed deadlines and workloads have more elasticity than the precious, delicate relationships which are as fragile as fine crystal. Balance involves distinguishing between the priorities we juggle that bounce from the ones labeled "loved ones," "health," and "moral character" that may shatter if we drop them.

 The reason I always ask my seminar attendees to list the benefits of reaching their goals is so they can arrange them in the true order of importance to them and give them a sufficient amount of attention as they juggle them within their time constraints. Handle your priorities with care. Some of them just don’t bounce!

To live a rich, balanced life we need to be more in conscious control of our habits and lifestyles. Actualized individuals have a regular exercise routine. They pay attention to nutrition, with lean source protein and fiber-based carbohydrates as their basic food choices. They relax through musical, cultural, artistic, and family activities. They get sufficient sleep and rest to meet the next day renewed and invigorated.

In addition to blocking periods of time for recreation and vacations, they also schedule large, uninterrupted periods of work on their most important projects. Contrary to popular notions, most books, works of art, invention, and musical compositions are created during uninterrupted time frames, not by a few lines, strokes, or notes every so often. Every book or audio program I have written has been done with the discipline of twelve to fifteen hours per day during a specific block of time.

True enough, I may have sacrificed a ski trip or an escape vacation once or twice. But by trying to focus on prime projects in prime time, the opportunity costs have been outweighed by the return on invested resources.

With your material, time and energy resources allocated well, you should be able to use your innovative powers to focus on goal achievement. Effective priority management creates freedom. Freedom provides opportunity to make decisions. We make our decisions and our decisions, over time, make us.

Freedom from urgency …. that’s what will allow us to live a rich and rewarding life. You may have thought your problem was "time starvation," when in truth, it was in the way you assigned priorities in your decision-making process. Have you allowed the urgent to crowd out the important?

Each day we will continue to encounter deadlines we must meet and "fires," not necessarily of our own making, we must put out. Endless urgent details will always beg for attention, time and energy. What we seldom realize is that the really important things in our life don’t make such strict demands on us, and therefore we usually assign them a lower priority.

Our loved ones understand when we are preoccupied with our urgent business, but it’s hard for us to understand, many years later, whey they appear preoccupied when we finally find some time for them. Harry Chapin’s classic song, "The Cat’s in the Cradle," is still a mirror reflecting our priorities.

All the important arenas in our life are there awaiting our decisions. But they don’t beg us to give them our time. The local university doesn’t call us to advance our education and improve our life skills.

I have never received a call or e-mail from the health club I joined insisting that I show up and work out for thirty minutes each day. My bathroom scale has never insisted that I lose thirty pounds. The grocery clerks have never made me put back on the shelves the junk food I put in the cart, nor has a fast-food restaurant ever refused me a double cheeseburger and large fries because of my high cholesterol.

Nor have I ever been subpoenaed by the ocean or the mountains to appear for relaxation and solitude. Yet I receive hundreds of urgent phone messages and e-mails each week from people with deadlines.

You see, it’s the easiest thing in the world to neglect the important and give in to the urgent. One of the greatest skills you can ever develop in your life is not only to tell the two apart, but to be able to assign the correct amount of time to each.

Beginning tomorrow, throughout the day, and every day thereafter, stop and ask yourself this question: "Is what I’m doing right now important to my health, well-being and mission in life, and for my loved ones?"  Your affirmative answer will free you forever, from the tyranny of the urgent.

Power From Empowerment by Denis Waitley

A good way to think of leadership is the process of freeing your team members to do the best work they possibly can. I have followed NBA basketball coach Phil Jackson’s career.

Like Phil Jackson who moved from the record setting Chicago Bulls to the Los Angeles Lakers. Jackson says his principal task is creating an environment in which his players can flourish. In communicating with his championship teams, Jackson convinced them that they had the talent to win championships, and that the main goal of the coach was going to be freeing them to use that talent.

Today’s business team members, say they want, more than anything else, the autonomy to do their jobs without the boss’s interference. In the new century, it’s already clear that the CEOs of our best-run companies believe that the more power leaders have, the less they should use.

The job of the team leader is to set a mission, decide upon a strategic direction, achieve the necessary cooperation, delegate authority --- and then let people innovate. To do that we all could take a hint from the late football coach, Paul "Bear" Bryant. Before his retirement as one of the leading coaches in college football history at Alabama, Bryant observed:

                I’m just a plowhand from Arkansas, but I’ve learned how to put and  hold a team together. I’ve learned how to lift some individuals up and how to calm others down, until finally they’ve got one heartbeat together, as a team. To do that, there’s just three things I’d ever have to  say: If anything went wrong, I did it. If it went semi-good, then we did it.If anything went real good, then you did it!  That’s really all it takes to get other people to win for you.

The key to authentic leadership is to listen to your followers, and then open the door for them to lead themselves. The secret is empowerment. The main incentive is genuine caring and recognition.

The five most important words a leader can speak are:  "I am proud of you."

The four most important are:  "What is your opinion??

The three most important are: "If you please."

The two most important are:   "Thank You."

And the most important single word of all is:  "You!"

Look Up to Those Beneath You by Denis Waitley

The most successful business leaders today are like great coaches who manage by inspiration, instead of intimidation. The command and control, management style is obsolete. In this fast forward global marketplace, there is no such distinction as superior and subordinate. The key to getting and staying on top is to provide a resilient, positive working environment. This requires that you "check your ego at the door" and that you seek alliances with others who may have different talents or strengths than you do. This is what synergy is all about.

David Ogilvy, founder of giant advertising agency, Ogilvy and Mather, used to give each new manager a Russian doll, which contained five progressively smaller dolls inside. A message inside the smallest one read: "If each of us hires people we consider smaller than ourselves, we shall become a company of dwarves. But if each of us hires people who are bigger than we are, we will become a company of giants."

To become a giant in the eyes of others, and to succeed in the 21st century, look up to those beneath you! Consider these action ideas as you lead your team:

1.    Listen often and openly to what others say, and try to do so without prejudgment.

2.    Don’t put anyone off or be too busy to listen to and answer questions.

3.    Use praise frequently and sincerely.

4.    If you feel that criticism is warranted, do it in private, and make sure you say something encouraging after the reprimand.

5.    Be firm and be fair. Don’t meet with people in person or on the phone when you are angry. Exercise or take a walk first, then communicate when you are relaxed.

6.    Don’t be afraid or hesitant to share your concerns with others. Far better to discuss a molehill, then to wait until it festers into Mt. Everest.

7.    Don’t make rash promises and be consistent.

8.    Whenever you are in a leadership role, focus your supervision on teaching effective habits and skills, not in pointing out mistakes.

Encourage everyone in both your personal and professional life to speak up and express their own ideas, even if you disagree with them.

Beware the Dream Stealers by Denis Waitley

Although your own internal measurements are the most important, you will occasionally need to seek external feedback on your progress toward your goals. When you do, be sure it is from people who are truly interested in seeing you succeed. Don't seek feedback from fair-weather friends, competitive peers, or any person who doesn't have your best interests at heart. Neutral doesn't count. Get feedback from someone who is on your side but will still be objective and honest with you.   

I've observed time and again that misery truly does love company. Jealousy creates some of the most miserable people I know. Surpass the achievements of your particular social crowd or your business colleagues, and look out for the slings and arrows of those who wish you were back where they are. You have to dodge the snide remarks and catty comments. Let them roll right off you. Don't internalize them.

Only pay attention to feedback from those who have similar goals or who are working actively alongside you to achieve goals of their own. Motives and fears run deep. Study them in others. The sympathetic fair-weather friend who supports you and comforts you when you're down, may like you best when you are in just that state: down and dependent.

Ultimately, nobody else is responsible for your life but you. Nobody else is accountable for your actions but you. Therefore, nobody's expectations for you and opinions about you are as important as your own. So make sure those take precedence in your mind over all others, and if you do need to consult with someone else, think very carefully before you choose exactly who.

Equally important, be prepared to sell your ideas to an indifferent world. As passionate as you are about your business and the fact that your products and services will have positive, life-changing benefits to everyone you meet, you are going to find resistance every time you tell your story.

People are most interested in their own dreams and goals.

They have difficulty believing that you have found a better way than they have to reach them. They are suspicious and guarded when anyone tries to sell them or change their minds. Rather than have others steal your dreams by raining on them, ask questions and find out about their dreams before you launch into your sermon. People buy what they want first, then what they need. Find what turns them on. It may not be what turns you on. By helping others get what they want, you’ll get what you want too!

Overcoming the Fear of Rejection by Denis Waitley

To conquer your fear of rejection, you need to handle the word "no" in a constructive way. When people turn you down after a presentation, you have to interpret the "no" as "no this is not right for me now." We also can interpret "no" as meaning, "I need to know more about this opportunity or the products before I can say yes."

I look at the service I offer to others as a gift that almost everyone desires. It’s like a nutritious dessert. What if waiters or waitresses in a restaurant said to customers at their tables: "Would you like our special strawberry parfait for dessert? It’s the best in the world!" And they were told "no" by their patrons, three out of five times.

Would they go to their manager, throw up their hands and quit, lamenting, "They don’t like me or my strawberry parfait?"  Of course they wouldn’t. They’d go on about their business, thinking the patrons had missed out on something delicious.

That’s why I treat products as a gift, much more nutritious and beneficial than a fruit dessert. But what is being rejected is the presentation, not the presentor. When I can separate my self-esteem from offering the products or business opportunity, I can live with rejection and look for ways to get a positive response more often.

When you are experiencing rejection, that’s the time to network with mentors and role models.  It’s also the time to listen to upbeat music and read articles like this, to attend meetings and conference calls, and to hang around with optimists and winners 

There are basically four things we do in selling our products and services, and only four. We use the products and services ourselves, we talk to people about the products and services, we talk to people about the financial benefits we offer, and we coach them to refer us to others who do the same thing. First, we are coachable and willing to learn something new every day. Then, we become coaches. All you really need to move up to the next level is have faith in yourself.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. To reach out for another is to risk involvement. To expose your feelings is to risk revealing your true self. To place your ideas and dreams before a crow, is to risk rejection. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk despair. To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing at all. People who will risk nothing --- do nothing, have nothing, and become nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love or live. Chained by their certitudes, they are slaves.

They have forfeited their freedom. Only a person who risks is truly free. And one last idea you can live and believe, is the more that you give ----- the more you’ll receive.

As Tall as You Want to Be by Denis Waitley

When he was two years old, this adopted child of two college professors suddenly and inexplicably stopped growing, and his health started to fail. A team of doctors gave him six months to live after they diagnosed him as suffering from a rare disease that inhibits digestion and nutrients in food. Intravenous feedings of vitamins and supplements allowed him to regain his strength, but his growth was permanently stunted.

Confined to hospitals for long periods of time, until the age of nine, he quietly plotted his revenge on the kids who taunted him and called him "peanut."

He recalled many years later that subconsciously "the whole experience made me want to succeed at something athletic." Sometimes his sister, Susan, went ice skating at the local rink, and he would go along to watch. There he stood, a frail, undergrown kid, with a feeding tube inserted through his nose and down into his stomach. When he wasn’t using it, one end of the tube was taped behind his ear.

One day, as he watched his sister whirl around the ice, he turned to his parents and said,

"You know, I think I’d like to try ice skating."   Talk about two adults, looking at their life-threatened child, with glances that were beyond belief!

Well, he tried it and he loved it, and he went at it with a passion. Here was something fun at which he could excel, where height and weight weren’t important.

During his medical checkup the following year, the doctors were startled to discover that he had actually started growing again. It was too late for him to reach normal size, but neither he nor his family cared. He was recovering and succeeding. He believed in his dream, although he had little else to hang on to.

None of the kids taunt him and tease him today. Instead, they all cheer and rush to get his autograph. He has just completed another dazzling performance on the world professional ice skating tour, with a long string of triple jumps, complicated maneuvers, and athletic moves, capped off with a racing front flip that brought him to a sudden stop inches from the audience. Although he has retired from professional skating, he remains a coach, mentor and commentator revered by everyone in winter sports.

At five feet three inches and 115 pounds of pure muscle and electrifying energy, former Olympic gold medal figure skating champion, Scott Hamilton stands as tall and as proud as any winner. Scott’s size didn’t limit his faith and reach. Don’t let doubts and critics limit yours.  This doesn’t mean that you’ll close almost every sale or get promoted in record time. Scott Hamilton certainly didn’t hit every triple-axle jump he ever attempted, especially during the initial learning phase. Success in developing any skill requires a basic trust in your ability that should never be allowed to waver.

You can stand tall, no matter how small!

Confidence - You Only Sell You by Denis Waitley

In my opinion, there is nothing more important than your belief in your own potential for success and happiness, regardless of your age, gender, ethnicity, looks, education or background. The truth is, every day "You only sell you. You don’t sell products or a business concept. You sell the value of the person offering the products and services. The decision of the buyer is based on the value of the seller. Just as products are branded as "the best", "cheap", "ineffective", "trustworthy" or "unreliable", so, too, are individuals branded by others as "winners" or "also-rans."  Who you are shots so loudly, that people either can’t hear, don’t want to hear, or listen carefully to what you are saying. Everybody loves a winner, and we all want to buy from winners who pass their own value on to us.

Self-confidence isn’t something you were born with. It’s something you develop. Many of us were cultivated like weeds as children. We played inferior roles to the adults around us, who frequently reminded us of our faults and shortcomings more than our successes and abilities.

 If you had that type of childhood, as I did, you face a special challenge in building up your self-confidence as an adult. Here are some basic points to remember about yourself:

1.  Realize that the most important opinion about you is the one that you hold. Ultimately, nobody else is responsible for your life but you. Nobody else is accountable for your actions but you. Therefore, nobody’s opinion about you is more important than yours.

2.  Recognize that the most important conversations are the ones you have with yourself. Whether or not you are aware of it, you have a running conversation with yourself from the time you get up to the time you go to sleep. Your thoughts and ideas are "you talking to you." Have daily conversations with yourself that are supportive and reinforcing. We know the value of talking to people who praise us, reward us, recognize us, are happy to see us, and let us know they genuinely enjoy talking with us. Talk to yourself with those same qualities – silently as well as audibly.

3. Develop a strong system of internal values. Weigh what you hold to be true, good and lasting. Write down some of your values for periodic review. Read material that reinforces what you hold to be significant in life. Know what you believe and why you believe it. At times, have discussions – even debates – with yourself   Draw conclusions about life. Think about deeper issues. Your values will greatly affect how you relate to others. The stronger your values are, the greater the impact. If you are lacking in internal values, you will tend to draw from and even use other people to try to mimic their behaviors, if only superficially. Instead, seek to become a model, one who can help and give strength to others.

4. Don’t reinforce your failures. Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street. Failure is a temporary setback, not a residence. Failure is a learning experience, not a person.  Like success, failure is a growth process, not a status. Don’t wallow in your mistakes. Correct them and move forward.

5.  Don’t demand perfection of yourself. An A is usually awarded to the person who scores 90 percent or better, and sometimes the score doesn’t need to be that high. Professional basketball players only make half their shots. Professional quarterback complete only half their passes, and professional baseball players reach first base less than 40 percent of the time, and that includes walks. And we all know what our averages are in picking stocks to invest in that are always going up. That would be never! Give your best effort every day and keep ratcheting forward. Perfection is not only totally unrealistic to expect and virtually impossible to achieve, but it greatly deters your ability to move forward. The person who is constantly looking over his or her shoulder at what might have been done better, can’t possibly be focused on the future. Drive with your eyes ahead; don’t drive by concentrating on the rearview mirror.

6.  Give each job or task your best effort. Countless individuals say, when confronted with a chore, "I’m too good to be doing this." They have contempt for their current situation and position, and get discouraged easily. Success is an accumulation of what you do in the minutes of each day. No task is too unworthy to do well. There are no small parts – only small actors.

7.  View the big picture of life. Step back from the landscape of your life today and take a long walk, ride a bike, or just sit silently, observing the wonder and abundance of God’s creation in nature. You are a part of a much bigger whole. Listen to the subtle rhythms of your environment. Recognize that you have rhythms and cycles of change in your life. Relax and open up to the vast creative and interrelated world around you.

To develop confidence, you must see yourself ultimately as a unique part of creation. You must recognize, with pleasure, that nobody else is just like you. No one else has exactly your temperament, history or experiences. No one else has your footprints, your finger prints, your voice print or your genetic code. No one else has precisely your set of talents, capabilities and skills. You are one of a kind. The value is there. It just needs to be dusted off and polished.

Carpe Diem! Seize this Day! by Denis Waitley

What each of us is doing this minute is the most important event in history for us. We have decided to invest our resources in this opportunity rather than in any other. It is helpful to remember this when we consider the passage of time.

As I write this, my mother is in her nineties and I will never see sixty again. As the years pass, I am acutely aware that the bird of time is on the wing. At my fiftieth high school reunion, I saw old people who claimed to be my former classmates. We all had big name tags printed in capital letters so we wouldn't have to squint with our reading glasses on trying to associate the name with each well-traveled face. It was only yesterday that I was really enjoying high school. What had happened to the five decades in between? Where had they flown?

To the side of the bandstand, where the big-band sound of the late 1940s and 50s blared our favorite top-ten hits, there was a poster with a printed verse for all of us to see. I read the words out loud: "There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

"One of these days is Yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone. 

"The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds; but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is as yet unborn. This leaves only one day: Today.

Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities -Yesterday and Tomorrow - that we break down.  It is not the experience of Today that drives us mad, it is remorse and bitterness for something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore, live this one full Today."

Malcolm Forbes believed the important thing is never to say die until you're dead, and he lived that example to the hilt. It is, as we realize when we suddenly attend our fiftieth high school reunion, a short journey. But it also is difficult to be depressed and active at the same time. So get active! And make today your best day ever!

Become a Student of Change by Denis Waitley

As the world becomes more interconnected, events outside your industry and career have an impact on your business, your family and your pocketbook. Whatever your daily routine, it takes place in a larger context of social, technological, political, economic and cultural change. To be successful today, you must understand that world. Without that you won’t be prepared to innovate; you’ll only be able to react and to avoid.

Many people will tell you it doesn’t matter how well-informed you are. "You can’t do anything about it anyway," goes the refrain, "so why bother to find out about things?" Here’s a newspaper editorial that sumps up this attitude:

"The world is too big for us. Too much going on, too much crime, violence and change. Try as you will, you get behind in the race. It’s an incessant strain to keep pace and still you lose ground. Science empties its discoveries on you so fast that you stagger beneath them in hopeless bewilderment. Everything in business and life is high pressure. Human nature can’t endure much more!"

This newspaper editorial reads as if it were written last week. But it actually appeared more than 168 years ago on June 16, 1833 in The Atlantic Journal back in the "good old days!" 

How can you avoid becoming a casualty of the "bad new days?" Take the offensive. Instead of "stewing," start "doing." Pay attention to the early warning signs of change. Look for changes in your industry, your family life and your region. You cannot innovate is your understanding of change is misinformed, incomplete or outdated.

Success in the new era is heavily dependent upon innovation, creativity and solving problems for which there are no precedents. While new technology is often the driver of economic and social change, the real opportunities are created by individuals who apply technology in new ways. Fred Smith, operating outside of the airline industry, created Federal Express because he saw the trend of speed in delivery of goods and services.

Your success depends on how well you think. You are not paid to collect, sort, store or retrieve information, although you do these things every day. You are paid to interpret that information and create and implement new ideas.

Ask yourself:

• What can I offer that "they" aren’t offering?  Where’s the niche that hasn’t been developed?  How can I add value to the service or products I promote?
• Where is the market inefficiency?  What would make this process more convenient? How can I do this less expensively?
• What would people pay for that isn’t available now?  Which consumer groups and Internet communities are the most likely prospects who want what I provide? What trends will change my and their assumptions about the quality of life?

Breakthrough ideas often occur when you are calmly searching for opportunities. They rarely occur when you are anxious and frustrated. Close your eyes and dream!

How to Stay Motivated by Denis Waitley

Be willing to say to yourself, "I’m on the right road. I’m doing OK. I’m succeeding." We too frequently become adept at pointing out our flaws and identifying failures. Become equally adept at citing your achievements. Identify things you are doing now that you weren’t doing one month ago … six months ago … a year ago. What habits have changed? Chart your progress.

Doing well once or twice is relatively easy. Continuously moving ahead is tough, in part, because we so easily revert to old habits and former lifestyles. Over the long run, you need to give yourself regular feedback to monitor your performance and reinforce yourself positively. Don’t wait for an award ceremony, promotion, friend or mentor to show appreciation for your work. Take pride in your own efforts on a daily basis.

Keep the end result in sight. Always see the big picture of the ultimate goal you’re working for and the benefits that come with it. During World War II, parachutes were being constructed by the thousands. From the workers point of view, the job was tedious and repetitive. (Like making "cold calls" on the phone or in person.) It involved crouching over a sewing machine eight to ten hours a day, stitching endless lengths of colorless fabric. The result was a seamless heap of cloth. But every morning the workers were reminded that each stitch was part of a life-saving operation.

As they sewed, they were asked to think that this might be the parachute worn by their husband, brother or son. Although the work was hard and the hours long, the women and men on the assembly line understood their contribution to the larger picture. The same should be true with your work. Each thing you do benefits the health and well being of adults and children throughout the world, not just generally, but specifically. These are the visions that drive us through tedious details to the top.

Set up a dynamic daily routine. Getting into a positive routine or groove, instead of a negative rut, will help you become more effective. Why is the subway the most energy efficient means of transportation?  Because it runs on a track.

Think of the order in your day, instead of the routine. Order is not sameness, neatness or everything exactly in its place. Order is not taking on more than you can manage, without still being able to do what you really choose. Order is the opposite of complication; it’s simplification. Order is not wasting a lot of time trying to find things. Order is avoiding a lot of recriminations because you didn’t do something you promised. Order is setting an effective agenda with others, so neither of you is disappointed. Order is doing in a day what you set out to do.

Order frees you up. Get into the swing of a healthy, daily routine and discover how much more control you’ll gain in your life.

The Winner's Circle by Denis Waitley

Soon we will see those five, brilliant, interlocking Olympic rings on flags and in television and billboard advertising globally. It will be the Winter Olympic Games in Salt Lake City, where the best in the world go for the gold and the few stand, listening to their national anthem, in the coveted winner’s circle. If the five Olympic rings were attitudes of champions in every profession, these five attitudes would be prominent in the mindset of the peak performer:

1. Paying the Price -- Everyone wants to win, but few are willing to invest the time and effort. Paying the price means focusing on developing the skills and training regimen of champions – observation, imitation, repetition and the internalization of knowledge into habits; also, learning why and how to go the extra mile and seeing success as a marathon, not a dash. Champions view failures as temporary inconveniences and learning experiences.

2. The Olympian Within -- Winners believe in their worth in advance of their performance. Most people base their worth on their current status or achievement level, which means that until they are judged successful by society’s standards, they have little to be proud of. Champions believe in their dreams when they have only a dream to hang on to, even in the face of criticism and superior achievements by others.